Went out last night. Had too much fun. Drank a lot and was Jory Drunk (a proper term coined by one of my best friends to describe when one is intoxicated to the level where they're happy, think everything is funny and are able to be themselves completely with a complete and total lack of fear). One of the best parts of what happened last night was when Brad showed up. I saw him come in at the door and bolted for my table to sit down so I didn't have to face him. Unfortunately, when I went to the bathroom, Brads group came and sat at a table right beside mine. He approached me to talk and suggested that we hang out in our old friend circle again from high school because he misses us. That was really nice to hear.
The conversation ended, it was really loud in there, and I turned back to my table. Then my neighbor and drinking buddy Matt asked me to dance. So we were dancing and he said that Brads gf saw us talking and was PISSED. Lol I had to laugh a little. I really don't know her so I can't say if she's a good person or not. I knew that it was wrong, but I just got happier after hearing that news. It's stupid and pointless but honestly who can say they don't have a tiny grudge against the person who was next after you to date the one person who totally and completely broke you? So yea. I took a tiny bit of satisfaction to know that she might be the jealous type and Brad might not be totally happy with her. I'll admit it. I don't want him back, but I certainly don't want him to be happier than me. That's something that I'll only ever admit on here. Haha I'm not crazy, I'm human and I think everyone feels this way after going through what I went through with him.
ANYWAYS. The night just kept getting better because as soon as Matt told me that she was pissed, who should have danced up beside us but Brad's gf herself! She wasn't dancing with Brad, some other random guy. The fact that she danced up beside us and was kinda sizing me up wasn't what made me happy, it was that she punched me. Haha PUNCHED ME! Like not in the face, it was the kind of punch where your still dancing with someone and you take the hand thats out front in a two step and hit someone with it while its still grasping your partners hand. Lol me and Matt just kinda laughed in her direction and then gave each other a look and then just bust out laughing when she was absorbed into a different part of the dance floor.
This happened two more times before we left, each time I was dancing with Matt. Jenna also said that she caught her glaring at her a number of times. I tried not to look at either Brad or his girlfriend so I wouldn't know.
I don't really know what else to say in this blog. It's a little weird to express this weird, animalistic kind of joy like this. I try to suppress it usually. You shouldn't feel joy in other peoples pain, but sometimes you can't help it. Anyways, Steven is coming over to buy my old Chem 112 textbooks. THANK GOD I CAN GET THOSE THINGS OUTTA MY LIFE. And he's bringing me a cookie :)
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
How I started 2013
I like to tell myself that I can relate to people, that I can put myself in their shoes and understand where they're coming from. I like to think that if I take into consideration their situation and their past experiences I can figure out why they justify what they do and how they act.
I openly admit that I can't do that anymore with one person: Johnson (yes I know I told you his real name, but I'm still gonna talk in code lol).
I have hardly spoken a word to Johnson since my birthday night when he offered up his body to me as a "birthday present". Let me be clear, it has been well over a month since he's said a thing to me and over two since we've talked about anything of importance between the two of us. We dated for 33 days back in April/June. SEVEN MONTHS AGO. We did not have sex.
On Monday night it was New Years and I was more than excited to be coming back to the city to celebrate the first night of the new year with some of the best friends I have made in university. Johnson was going to be there, but I figured everything that had happened between us was so far in the past that everything was going to be fine. I had already waved the white flag. All I had to do was wait for him to reciprocate. I took his situation into consideration, I had given him what he wanted, let everything blow over. All of our mutual friends were consistently more and more friendly towards me over finals season, including the one friend that refused to say happy birthday to me because he was afraid of upsetting Johnson. I walked into the party with shining confidence that this night would be the start of a year of peace and serenity between me and Johnson that would finally FINALLY end the uneasiness and pure hatred that I felt shooting from his eyes every time he looked at me. I put myself in his shoes many times before and what I would do in his situation is vastly different than what he is currently doing. And it was New Years night when I finally accepted that I have no idea what course of action his mind has planned, I simply cannot relate to it.
Anyway, here's a sequence of events that lead to the first dramatic episode of 2013 (sadly I don't think it's going to be the last either..)
Got to the party. Opened the door and Johnson was right there. He looked at Jenna and greeted her with a giant hug and smile and HAPPY NEW YEAR!. He then proceeded to not look me in the eye as he squeezed past me in the very narrow entry way. I managed to get out a "Hi." as he passed, break the ice a little. He reciprocated "hi" once he was halfway out the door - I never knew there could be so much ice in one word.
Got to the basement where the party was in full swing. It was a smaller gathering but it was mostly all close friends and really, what more do you need? I made my way to the couch area after hugging my buddies as they welcomed me. Immediatly I noticed 3 takeout containers full of spaghetti and meatballs. Each had been partially eaten already, but now were left on the coffee table without supervision. I poured a drink and began socializing/drinking games. I almost forgot that Johnson was there until I heard him loudly complaining to our friends about how he wished he was anywhere but here, threatening to leave. No one really begged him to stay as far as I could hear, but for some reason, he never left. :/
The night continued and I was having a blast. Won Baseball Beer Pong and even got talking to *Frank, the friend who wouldnt talk to me on my birthday. He was actually being ridiculously nice to me and we ended up joking around for quite some time. I ended up on the couch with my buddy Steven (real name! hha) and we were talking about the Walking Dead as I had just caught up on the second and third season over the Christmas break. We were talking about some of the deaths when I said to him "I cried so hard when ____ died" (I'll keep that blank so I don't spoil it for you, but in the real situation I said the full name. From ACROSS THE ROOM I heard this little yelp. I looked over and Johnson, who had apparently been listening in on our convo and who also apparently had not seen the episode where ____ dies, screamed "AS IF YOU JUST SPOILED THAT FOR ME!" or something to that effect in a high pitched, shrill and snarly voice. He stormed up to Jenna and started ranting to her about me.... I didn't even really know what to say. Like I wasn't talking to him, he wasn't invited into the conversation, but yet he found a way to get mad at me.
If you think that's stupid, just wait until you hear this next part. It's borderline comical actually. I was sitting on the couch still there with Steven and Deric*. Deric is one of Johnsons best friends, and also my sisters ex. It's fucked up, but we have no beef with each other so we get along just fine. Deric grabbed one of the takeout boxes off the table which I assumed was his and stabbed a meatball. The plan was to get a video of Deric shoving a whole fist-sized meatball in his mouth. Instead I got a video of Deric biting half of it, laughing and then dropping the fork-meatball apparatus back into the box and getting up and walking away. There was a small crowd that was waiting for this epic moment to happen so I stepped up to the plate and delivered. I took the remaining meatball and shoved it in my mouth. A cheer erupted from the small group and I got several highfives as I struggled to swallow the enormous sphere of meat in my mouth (Take that sentence and run with it. I'm basically setting you up here haha). Someone suggested I wash it down with some of the spaghetti. I stabbed a fork full and went to put it in my mouth. I had the fork up to my mouth ready to deliver the carbs to my tongue when I locked eyes with Johnson who was standing about 3 feet from the other end of the coffee table. He was glaring at me and said "HEY THATS MY SPAGHETTI". I thought he must have his takeout box confused because Deric had just finished eating some of this box, thus it was Derics food. I looked back at my small group of admiring fans (baha) and ate the spaghetti. Another round of high fives. (Drunk people celebrate small accomplishments)
Apparently this was the last straw for Johnson. He threw a FIT. He started screaming at Jenna as if she should chastise me for eating his food. I didn't really notice that anything was wrong for quite a while. I thought he was just talking to her. It wasn't until I tuned into their conversation that I knew it was about me. I couldn't hear what he was saying. He stormed out of the party. I didn't really care. I ate a fucking meatball for christs sake. And that food hadn't been touched since I got to the party, which was a solid 3 hours by that time. Who knows how long it was there before. And Deric was eating it as well. So I wasn't really sure what the big deal was.
I had forgotten about the incident when Jenna came up to me later and said something along the lines of "Jory stop doing anything reguarding Johnson. Don't eat his meatball, don't touch the cup he's drinking from, don't bump into him at all. Just stop everything that has to do with him. You're really pushing his buttons" I was frustrated. I teared up a little. I wasn't trying to fucking start drama again. I was and am so sick of his petty shit. I'm not a dramatic person, if someone does something that pisses me off, I hold it in and let it go. I also felt bad because I sincerely didn't mean to touch a nerve, if I would have consciously known that it was his fucking meatball I wouldn't have went near it.
Anyway, the best part of the Johnson drama happened about half an hour later when I squeezed my empty cup onto the heaping full coffee table and accidentally forced one of the boxes of spag off the table. Luckily, it wasn't Johnsons box of precious spaghetti, but it still broke open on the floor and splatted everywhere. I cursed loudly and bent to clean it up when who should pop outta no where but Johnson. "THATS MY SPAGHETTI!!!" he whined. I looked at him and said "No THAT is your spaghetti." and pointed to the box I had eaten from not even an hour ago that was still sitting in the same spot. He disagreed and pointed at the mess on the floor, "THAT was my spaghetti." he said. And that's when I knew he was just in it to start shit. He didn't even know which box was his, he was just looking for reasons to be mad at me. He sulked for the rest of the night and talked to several people about how I was purposely trying to get under his skin with every little thing I did. I know this because my sister told me. I don't really think he found a legitimate one that night, but I sure found reason enough to be upset with him.
What a shit disturber. I'm so annoyed right now. Jenna had plans to watch Walking Dead with Johnson here at our house sometime this week. Yesterday I asked her to watch it at his house so he doesn't have to come over. I don't want him near me. I can't do anything right when he's around. Every little thing will be ridiculed and picked apart. The verdict of every action that I make will be because I am pure evil trying to sabotage him. I wish he could just see the truth. I don't care any more. I'm simply annoyed. I'm more annoyed of him right now than I have been of anyone in the past 5 years. And I'm only saying 5 years because I can't really remember past that all that clearly. Although I'm annoyed, I have no motives for revenge. I don't wish bad things upon him. I just wish he would stop convicting me of felons that I didn't commit. I just really don't care about him. I've moved on to other guys (I got my own Deric, that was super fun! We friend zoned eachother hahaha!) and I've realized I don't need to be friends with him to stay in my circle of friends. I don't need to be friends with him.
It's one of those moments where I'm so thankful for my gift of foresight. I took the flak for a long time, I held my ground but kept myself from beaking him to our mutual friends, not trying to pull them away from him or towards me, but just acting organically around them. I know he did quite the opposite. But I think my approach is the best one I could have had. I'm happy with my decisions, except for my decision to date him in the first place. haha.
Yikes I have class in 6.5 hours. TTYL. I told this little incident in quite some detail because I can't sleep and all in all the whole deal was really short. and I needed to make it seem longer to entertain myself until I get tired. CURSE YOU LATE NIGHTS AND LATE MORNINGS FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS
Blog soundtrack: Nowhere Left to Go - Joshua Hyslop
I openly admit that I can't do that anymore with one person: Johnson (yes I know I told you his real name, but I'm still gonna talk in code lol).
I have hardly spoken a word to Johnson since my birthday night when he offered up his body to me as a "birthday present". Let me be clear, it has been well over a month since he's said a thing to me and over two since we've talked about anything of importance between the two of us. We dated for 33 days back in April/June. SEVEN MONTHS AGO. We did not have sex.
On Monday night it was New Years and I was more than excited to be coming back to the city to celebrate the first night of the new year with some of the best friends I have made in university. Johnson was going to be there, but I figured everything that had happened between us was so far in the past that everything was going to be fine. I had already waved the white flag. All I had to do was wait for him to reciprocate. I took his situation into consideration, I had given him what he wanted, let everything blow over. All of our mutual friends were consistently more and more friendly towards me over finals season, including the one friend that refused to say happy birthday to me because he was afraid of upsetting Johnson. I walked into the party with shining confidence that this night would be the start of a year of peace and serenity between me and Johnson that would finally FINALLY end the uneasiness and pure hatred that I felt shooting from his eyes every time he looked at me. I put myself in his shoes many times before and what I would do in his situation is vastly different than what he is currently doing. And it was New Years night when I finally accepted that I have no idea what course of action his mind has planned, I simply cannot relate to it.
Anyway, here's a sequence of events that lead to the first dramatic episode of 2013 (sadly I don't think it's going to be the last either..)
Got to the party. Opened the door and Johnson was right there. He looked at Jenna and greeted her with a giant hug and smile and HAPPY NEW YEAR!. He then proceeded to not look me in the eye as he squeezed past me in the very narrow entry way. I managed to get out a "Hi." as he passed, break the ice a little. He reciprocated "hi" once he was halfway out the door - I never knew there could be so much ice in one word.
Got to the basement where the party was in full swing. It was a smaller gathering but it was mostly all close friends and really, what more do you need? I made my way to the couch area after hugging my buddies as they welcomed me. Immediatly I noticed 3 takeout containers full of spaghetti and meatballs. Each had been partially eaten already, but now were left on the coffee table without supervision. I poured a drink and began socializing/drinking games. I almost forgot that Johnson was there until I heard him loudly complaining to our friends about how he wished he was anywhere but here, threatening to leave. No one really begged him to stay as far as I could hear, but for some reason, he never left. :/
The night continued and I was having a blast. Won Baseball Beer Pong and even got talking to *Frank, the friend who wouldnt talk to me on my birthday. He was actually being ridiculously nice to me and we ended up joking around for quite some time. I ended up on the couch with my buddy Steven (real name! hha) and we were talking about the Walking Dead as I had just caught up on the second and third season over the Christmas break. We were talking about some of the deaths when I said to him "I cried so hard when ____ died" (I'll keep that blank so I don't spoil it for you, but in the real situation I said the full name. From ACROSS THE ROOM I heard this little yelp. I looked over and Johnson, who had apparently been listening in on our convo and who also apparently had not seen the episode where ____ dies, screamed "AS IF YOU JUST SPOILED THAT FOR ME!" or something to that effect in a high pitched, shrill and snarly voice. He stormed up to Jenna and started ranting to her about me.... I didn't even really know what to say. Like I wasn't talking to him, he wasn't invited into the conversation, but yet he found a way to get mad at me.
If you think that's stupid, just wait until you hear this next part. It's borderline comical actually. I was sitting on the couch still there with Steven and Deric*. Deric is one of Johnsons best friends, and also my sisters ex. It's fucked up, but we have no beef with each other so we get along just fine. Deric grabbed one of the takeout boxes off the table which I assumed was his and stabbed a meatball. The plan was to get a video of Deric shoving a whole fist-sized meatball in his mouth. Instead I got a video of Deric biting half of it, laughing and then dropping the fork-meatball apparatus back into the box and getting up and walking away. There was a small crowd that was waiting for this epic moment to happen so I stepped up to the plate and delivered. I took the remaining meatball and shoved it in my mouth. A cheer erupted from the small group and I got several highfives as I struggled to swallow the enormous sphere of meat in my mouth (Take that sentence and run with it. I'm basically setting you up here haha). Someone suggested I wash it down with some of the spaghetti. I stabbed a fork full and went to put it in my mouth. I had the fork up to my mouth ready to deliver the carbs to my tongue when I locked eyes with Johnson who was standing about 3 feet from the other end of the coffee table. He was glaring at me and said "HEY THATS MY SPAGHETTI". I thought he must have his takeout box confused because Deric had just finished eating some of this box, thus it was Derics food. I looked back at my small group of admiring fans (baha) and ate the spaghetti. Another round of high fives. (Drunk people celebrate small accomplishments)
Apparently this was the last straw for Johnson. He threw a FIT. He started screaming at Jenna as if she should chastise me for eating his food. I didn't really notice that anything was wrong for quite a while. I thought he was just talking to her. It wasn't until I tuned into their conversation that I knew it was about me. I couldn't hear what he was saying. He stormed out of the party. I didn't really care. I ate a fucking meatball for christs sake. And that food hadn't been touched since I got to the party, which was a solid 3 hours by that time. Who knows how long it was there before. And Deric was eating it as well. So I wasn't really sure what the big deal was.
I had forgotten about the incident when Jenna came up to me later and said something along the lines of "Jory stop doing anything reguarding Johnson. Don't eat his meatball, don't touch the cup he's drinking from, don't bump into him at all. Just stop everything that has to do with him. You're really pushing his buttons" I was frustrated. I teared up a little. I wasn't trying to fucking start drama again. I was and am so sick of his petty shit. I'm not a dramatic person, if someone does something that pisses me off, I hold it in and let it go. I also felt bad because I sincerely didn't mean to touch a nerve, if I would have consciously known that it was his fucking meatball I wouldn't have went near it.
Anyway, the best part of the Johnson drama happened about half an hour later when I squeezed my empty cup onto the heaping full coffee table and accidentally forced one of the boxes of spag off the table. Luckily, it wasn't Johnsons box of precious spaghetti, but it still broke open on the floor and splatted everywhere. I cursed loudly and bent to clean it up when who should pop outta no where but Johnson. "THATS MY SPAGHETTI!!!" he whined. I looked at him and said "No THAT is your spaghetti." and pointed to the box I had eaten from not even an hour ago that was still sitting in the same spot. He disagreed and pointed at the mess on the floor, "THAT was my spaghetti." he said. And that's when I knew he was just in it to start shit. He didn't even know which box was his, he was just looking for reasons to be mad at me. He sulked for the rest of the night and talked to several people about how I was purposely trying to get under his skin with every little thing I did. I know this because my sister told me. I don't really think he found a legitimate one that night, but I sure found reason enough to be upset with him.
What a shit disturber. I'm so annoyed right now. Jenna had plans to watch Walking Dead with Johnson here at our house sometime this week. Yesterday I asked her to watch it at his house so he doesn't have to come over. I don't want him near me. I can't do anything right when he's around. Every little thing will be ridiculed and picked apart. The verdict of every action that I make will be because I am pure evil trying to sabotage him. I wish he could just see the truth. I don't care any more. I'm simply annoyed. I'm more annoyed of him right now than I have been of anyone in the past 5 years. And I'm only saying 5 years because I can't really remember past that all that clearly. Although I'm annoyed, I have no motives for revenge. I don't wish bad things upon him. I just wish he would stop convicting me of felons that I didn't commit. I just really don't care about him. I've moved on to other guys (I got my own Deric, that was super fun! We friend zoned eachother hahaha!) and I've realized I don't need to be friends with him to stay in my circle of friends. I don't need to be friends with him.
It's one of those moments where I'm so thankful for my gift of foresight. I took the flak for a long time, I held my ground but kept myself from beaking him to our mutual friends, not trying to pull them away from him or towards me, but just acting organically around them. I know he did quite the opposite. But I think my approach is the best one I could have had. I'm happy with my decisions, except for my decision to date him in the first place. haha.
Yikes I have class in 6.5 hours. TTYL. I told this little incident in quite some detail because I can't sleep and all in all the whole deal was really short. and I needed to make it seem longer to entertain myself until I get tired. CURSE YOU LATE NIGHTS AND LATE MORNINGS FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS
Blog soundtrack: Nowhere Left to Go - Joshua Hyslop
Sunday, December 9, 2012
25 Small Things. Part 1
I'm sitting here at my kitchen table studying. The roomies are gone, except Jenna. I went to the cupboard and found the bag of pommegranats I bought the other night, and I thought - There is nothing better than having fresh fruit in the house. Then I thought a little further and there's tons of little things in life that have the capacity to make my day. So here are 25 of them.
1. Standing on the heat vent and have it blow hot air through the bottom of your pants
2. Having an extension cord that's just long enough
3. A random stranger coming up and asking you where you got your shoes
4. Those rotisserie chickens from Safeway
5. Perfectly round rocks
6. A clean kitchen
7. Neighbors that shovel your driveway for you
8. A really good song that you kill in the first week of its release because you replay it so much
9. Ice skating
10. When you make pasta just right.
11. Learning a new chord on guitar
12. Texts with smiley faces
13. Lists
14. New pens
15. Grandparents
16. Clap-on lamps
17. Lucid dreams
18. Eating a really juicy orange but not having any of it drip down your chin/wrist
19. Having someone say that your ex boyfriends new girlfriend is a real bitch
20. When friends tell you they love you.
21. Beaking the shit outta Jens.
22. When you find out your on someones Top Friends list on facebook and you
23. Dusting something that's really dusty
24. How plants in a room instantly make it look better
25. Finishing this list without even really having to think on it.
1. Standing on the heat vent and have it blow hot air through the bottom of your pants
2. Having an extension cord that's just long enough
3. A random stranger coming up and asking you where you got your shoes
4. Those rotisserie chickens from Safeway
5. Perfectly round rocks
6. A clean kitchen
7. Neighbors that shovel your driveway for you
8. A really good song that you kill in the first week of its release because you replay it so much
9. Ice skating
10. When you make pasta just right.
11. Learning a new chord on guitar
12. Texts with smiley faces
13. Lists
14. New pens
15. Grandparents
16. Clap-on lamps
17. Lucid dreams
18. Eating a really juicy orange but not having any of it drip down your chin/wrist
19. Having someone say that your ex boyfriends new girlfriend is a real bitch
20. When friends tell you they love you.
21. Beaking the shit outta Jens.
22. When you find out your on someones Top Friends list on facebook and you
23. Dusting something that's really dusty
24. How plants in a room instantly make it look better
25. Finishing this list without even really having to think on it.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
FINALSFINALSFINALS
So I'm done 3 of my 5 finals for this December. And yesterday was the first official day of finals for U of S. That's right. 3 finals in 28 hours. I was a little crazy by the end of it. I was up until 2 am the night before and got up at 7 to study. But didn't really sleep. So when I got home after that third final you can imagine what I did. That's right. I did everything in my power to stay awake longer. I watched a movie - How to Deal with Mandy Moore, terrible plot, terrible acting, terrible conflict, terrible movie all around - and then I went to Superstore to get groceries since our household was in desperate need of them and I wasn't able to get any for the past two weeks being too busy with school and what not. We also stopped our roommate meal plan for this week so basically I had been living off of food court food for a whole week. Anyway, went to the store fro mlike 7-8:30, just putzing around like a zombie, I ended up buying the most random shit. Like honey dijon mustard. I have never had that in my life. Why the fuck did I buy it? I didn't even see the price! Just grabbed it and stuffed it in the cart, right beside the tube of pilsbury oven ready cinnamon buns, frozen waffles and two random mini cups of yogurt. I don't even like yogurt. So along with the rule that you should never go shopping when you're hungry, I'll add Never Go Shopping While in Zombie Mode to the rule book. I should also add Do Not Blog While in Zombie Mode, but I'll break that one for tonight. I stayed up til 2 again last night for no particular reason.
I'm sitting on my couch right now, just watched two movies in a row and then the Top 30 Countdown came on. I paused the TV so I could listen to music on my laptop as I write this. Unfortunately its paused on a picture of Nikki Minaj. Wearing a really tight black dress. And you can totally see her nipples through it. They're just staring at me. I feel embarrassed but also kind of flattered. It's not everyday that one gets stared at by the Minaj twins.
Enough of that conversation with myself. I also bought a six pack of bottled coke last night. I'm drinking one of the bottles right now, except I poured it into a glass to look less trashy. In my own home, when no one is around. I'm contemplating going out tonight. But I'm so comfortable. And my feet are tucked into my knees in this yoga pose and they're feeling warm for the first time all day.
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BOY SECTION (skip now if you want)
So I'm seeing this new guy. I think I may have mentioned him in this blog before. I accidentally thought he was someone else in line for the beer gardens in Septemner, and told him I know him and explained how we met and was slightly offended when he didn't remember me. But as the conversation went on, I realized it was a completely different guy completely and I looked like a huge loser haha so I awkwardly slid away. then I ran into him at the Branch the next night and again at the giant annual commerce party. Got his number somewhere in between there but I was still messing around with Johnson at the time so nothing really happened. I think I bumped into him a few other times between then and now, always friendly to each other, and then on my 21st birthday, he showed up DDing some friends and asked me out! So since then (2 weeks ago) we've been hanging out quite a lot. I think the first night it was almost every night of the week and then finals set in and I was too busy, and so texting has kinda worked. Plus he's given me rides to/from school a lot.. So far our dates have been
1. Frozen Yogurt.. 20 minutes of eating yogurt, 4 hours of non stop talking
2. Went to his house for a movie after writing my lab report.
3. He came over for a movie, FIRST KISS WOO
4. Red Lobster, Enchanted forest, movie at his place
5. Study date tomorrow!
Anyways, things are going good with him. I'm anxious for exams to be done so we can continue to move things forward. I would much rather talk to him in person than over text. He hasn't quite learned to catch a lot of my sarcasm over text yet.
Anyways Jenna and Myr just walked in and we're gonna watch walking dead. CYA!
I'm sitting on my couch right now, just watched two movies in a row and then the Top 30 Countdown came on. I paused the TV so I could listen to music on my laptop as I write this. Unfortunately its paused on a picture of Nikki Minaj. Wearing a really tight black dress. And you can totally see her nipples through it. They're just staring at me. I feel embarrassed but also kind of flattered. It's not everyday that one gets stared at by the Minaj twins.
Enough of that conversation with myself. I also bought a six pack of bottled coke last night. I'm drinking one of the bottles right now, except I poured it into a glass to look less trashy. In my own home, when no one is around. I'm contemplating going out tonight. But I'm so comfortable. And my feet are tucked into my knees in this yoga pose and they're feeling warm for the first time all day.
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BOY SECTION (skip now if you want)
So I'm seeing this new guy. I think I may have mentioned him in this blog before. I accidentally thought he was someone else in line for the beer gardens in Septemner, and told him I know him and explained how we met and was slightly offended when he didn't remember me. But as the conversation went on, I realized it was a completely different guy completely and I looked like a huge loser haha so I awkwardly slid away. then I ran into him at the Branch the next night and again at the giant annual commerce party. Got his number somewhere in between there but I was still messing around with Johnson at the time so nothing really happened. I think I bumped into him a few other times between then and now, always friendly to each other, and then on my 21st birthday, he showed up DDing some friends and asked me out! So since then (2 weeks ago) we've been hanging out quite a lot. I think the first night it was almost every night of the week and then finals set in and I was too busy, and so texting has kinda worked. Plus he's given me rides to/from school a lot.. So far our dates have been
1. Frozen Yogurt.. 20 minutes of eating yogurt, 4 hours of non stop talking
2. Went to his house for a movie after writing my lab report.
3. He came over for a movie, FIRST KISS WOO
4. Red Lobster, Enchanted forest, movie at his place
5. Study date tomorrow!
Anyways, things are going good with him. I'm anxious for exams to be done so we can continue to move things forward. I would much rather talk to him in person than over text. He hasn't quite learned to catch a lot of my sarcasm over text yet.
Anyways Jenna and Myr just walked in and we're gonna watch walking dead. CYA!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
SWED! .. if you want to
I openly encourage people to make up their own mind about weed. Some people are really into it and love it and are successful in life despite taking on names like stoner, pot-head or toker. Others are perfectly fine with life without it, like me. Blog readers, do not get offended by what I'm about to say, it's just a a telling of my personal beliefs.
I'm sure weed has its pros, I have absolutely nothing against it or those who do it or condone it, I just choose not to do it for my own reasons. I don't reject it because I think I'm too good or that anyone who does it is simply a burnout stoner, as most people do. I just have never wanted to do it. I've seen friends get high time after time and, although they like to think they're getting smarter/more creative, most times, they can barely get a word out without laughing or losing concentration of what they were saying. And when they come down from their high, they look back over their ideas and don't understand them or realize they weren't possible or that they were useless.
I feel like these reverse considerations that people have when their high can be uncovered soberly as well if you just open your mind. I don't believe that someone needs weed to make a realization that they never would have considered before. Deep thinking is a talent, and it can be learned without sucking toxins into your lungs.
A friend of mine, Tyler, has been smoking weed every day for the past 4 years. He tried to quit one day and just transformed into this terrible person I never want to know again. He was easily frustrated by everything and anything, he was irritable, he would freak out at anyone who stepped out of line and shot people's jokes down the minute they escaped their lips. This was not the Tyler I knew, and I knew him before he started smoking weed too. He's not addicted to weed, but he's dependent on it to have fun now. Actually, he's dependent on it to have any kind of good emotion. When he's not high, he's not happy.
I don't know if you've picked this up about me, but I hate feeling dependent on something/someone. It scares the shit out of me. I have so much fun being sober, I also have incredibly deep thoughts, none of which I have shared with anyone since the words to describe them haven't been invented yet. I can also soberly concentrate on something if I want to, I can appreciate movies, music, nature, food and humor to the 10th degree when I'm sober and I can socialize with other people easily without a drug/drink in my system. I would never want to compare the beauty and wonder that I can experience with a fully sober mind to that of a mind that is making up magic tricks for itself. Why would I want to make reality less amazing by comparing it to the fantasy realm that comes with smoking weed? I can understand it can be a fun recreational tool, but I really don't believe that I need it. And like I said before, depending on something like that to have a good time is just not my style.
I have no doubts that it's an awesome experience and that it can be medically genius, I just don't want it. If I'm going to have a brilliant idea/revelation, I want to attribute that brilliant moment to me and myself, not the smoke in my lungs. I strongly believe that the power of the mind can be unleashed on its own, with knowledge as the drug that fuels the release of these incredible thoughts/emotions.
But like I said, I think people should make up their own mind about weed usage. It has its' pros and cons and I'm not trying to convince anyone to not do it. And it's easy for people who have done it to criticize me and say that I don't know what I'm missing and that it's the best thing that's ever happened to them, that the person they were before was shitty compared to who they are now, but try to refrain from comparing that person that you were before to the person that I am now. No one person can compare themselves to another since everyones' experiences and thoughts are so different. I love the feeling of being free, not depending on the essence of a drug or drink to feel as happy or mad or sad as I can be. I don't want to compromise that by getting high. Even once. I want my experiences to be my own.
I'm sure weed has its pros, I have absolutely nothing against it or those who do it or condone it, I just choose not to do it for my own reasons. I don't reject it because I think I'm too good or that anyone who does it is simply a burnout stoner, as most people do. I just have never wanted to do it. I've seen friends get high time after time and, although they like to think they're getting smarter/more creative, most times, they can barely get a word out without laughing or losing concentration of what they were saying. And when they come down from their high, they look back over their ideas and don't understand them or realize they weren't possible or that they were useless.
I feel like these reverse considerations that people have when their high can be uncovered soberly as well if you just open your mind. I don't believe that someone needs weed to make a realization that they never would have considered before. Deep thinking is a talent, and it can be learned without sucking toxins into your lungs.
A friend of mine, Tyler, has been smoking weed every day for the past 4 years. He tried to quit one day and just transformed into this terrible person I never want to know again. He was easily frustrated by everything and anything, he was irritable, he would freak out at anyone who stepped out of line and shot people's jokes down the minute they escaped their lips. This was not the Tyler I knew, and I knew him before he started smoking weed too. He's not addicted to weed, but he's dependent on it to have fun now. Actually, he's dependent on it to have any kind of good emotion. When he's not high, he's not happy.
I don't know if you've picked this up about me, but I hate feeling dependent on something/someone. It scares the shit out of me. I have so much fun being sober, I also have incredibly deep thoughts, none of which I have shared with anyone since the words to describe them haven't been invented yet. I can also soberly concentrate on something if I want to, I can appreciate movies, music, nature, food and humor to the 10th degree when I'm sober and I can socialize with other people easily without a drug/drink in my system. I would never want to compare the beauty and wonder that I can experience with a fully sober mind to that of a mind that is making up magic tricks for itself. Why would I want to make reality less amazing by comparing it to the fantasy realm that comes with smoking weed? I can understand it can be a fun recreational tool, but I really don't believe that I need it. And like I said before, depending on something like that to have a good time is just not my style.
I have no doubts that it's an awesome experience and that it can be medically genius, I just don't want it. If I'm going to have a brilliant idea/revelation, I want to attribute that brilliant moment to me and myself, not the smoke in my lungs. I strongly believe that the power of the mind can be unleashed on its own, with knowledge as the drug that fuels the release of these incredible thoughts/emotions.
But like I said, I think people should make up their own mind about weed usage. It has its' pros and cons and I'm not trying to convince anyone to not do it. And it's easy for people who have done it to criticize me and say that I don't know what I'm missing and that it's the best thing that's ever happened to them, that the person they were before was shitty compared to who they are now, but try to refrain from comparing that person that you were before to the person that I am now. No one person can compare themselves to another since everyones' experiences and thoughts are so different. I love the feeling of being free, not depending on the essence of a drug or drink to feel as happy or mad or sad as I can be. I don't want to compromise that by getting high. Even once. I want my experiences to be my own.
Friday, November 23, 2012
My 21st Birthday. From Terrific to Shit.
So here's how I celebrated my birthday:
Jenna woke me up at 7:16 am to remind me that we were 21. As if I had forgotten. I promised to cut her later for that. So early. I tried to go back to sleep. Magan called me at 8:20 and I groggily talked with her. As soon as I hung up, Mom called with Dad. (Shit gets more interesting as the day goes on, keep reading)
Then I finally got up around 8:30 and started getting ready for school. I got a text from Freddy saying that English class was cancelled that day, but I headed off to school anyways. When I got to school, I went to the Kin lounge where I was greeted by a few happy birthdays and big hugs from Freddy and Brooke. Freddy also made me a card which was hilarious. And then I set off to the library where I got a lot of studying done. A guy came and sat at the four person table I was hogging. I tried to slide over some of my papers so he would have room and it resulted in me pushing other papers onto the floor. That was a little embarassing. But we carried on. Jenna brought me an eggnog latte about an hour later!
Jenna: Happy birthday Jory!
Me: Happy birthday Jenna!
Guy: Whoah are you guys twins and it's your birthday?!
Us: Yes we are and yes it is!
Guy: No kidding! That was the cutest thing ever! Happy birthday!
*Me and Jenna instantly turn bright red and thank him*
Jenna left and an hour later the guy asked me what I was working on, I replied studying for biology. We got talking and he seemed really nice. And one thing lead to another and he got my number! Nothing is gonna happen there but it was just a really sweet thing to happen, so cute!
Then Joel (that was his name) left and I was alone once again. I continued studying when this really cute guy that I met in September walked into the library, saw me and waved and smiled. I happily smiled back. I put my head down again and the next time I look up, who should be there but Brad*. I gave a bright smile towards him (even though I kind of hate him right now) and he said happy birthday too as he passed. Then his friend said it to. I was happy enough with that. I studied for 30 more minutes then got the hell outta there. They were at a table right behind me and I wasn't having it.
I went into the computer lab in the Bio building where Solomon was working on his lab report. He wished me a happy birthday as well and I was about to sit down, but the latte suddenly kicked in and I couldn't hardly sit still. So I got outta there and went for a walk around campus. I ended up walking towards the PAC (Kinesiology building) and was about 20 feet from the door when Jenna, Johnson and Freddy emerged. Freddy yelled happy birthday again and Johnson pretended like he didn't see me. :/ anyways, I went up to that computer lab and crushed out my music assignment.
I had no classes/labs all day so I got a lot of studying done.
When I got home, both of our roommates were gone. Bryna was gone to Lethbridge with the hockey team and the other one had disappeared. All of her dishes from her supper were still out on the table, the dishwasher that she was supposed to empty was still full and the sidewalk hadn't been shoveled. So that was kind of disappointing to do when it was our birthday. But life goes on.
Jenna cooked meatballs and rice for supper for the two of us, then Alyssa came over with cupcakes and presents. We celebrated a little and got ready to go out. Brooke showed up after a while too and then we headed out.
We got to the bar before it was busy (9:30 ish) and the whole place was a meat market. We were the only girls. Brooke bought us birthday shots, then some old guy bought us some more. I did Alyssa's second shot because she was driving. Then I grabbed a beer.
Shot/Drink Count: 4
We were sitting around a table and a creepy uninteresting guy came and started layin down the lines thick. I told him my name was Angelica.
One by one the friends started arriving. Gill bought me a drink. A large group of Kin friends had just arrived and me and Jenna went to greet them. Johnson emerged from the group, ran up to Jenna (who was right beside me), gave her a big hug and wished her happy birthday again. I stood there patiently waiting, I worked up a smile to have ready for when he wished me a HBD, but it never came. In fact, he didn't even look my way, just put his hand on Jenna's lower back and guided her towards the group so I was left standing on the outskirts alone. I could have cried. Instead I walked awkwardly away to find another group to talk to since he had clearly marked his territory. I eventually edged over to the kin group, no sign of Johnson. Peter gave me a huge, back breaking hug.. just as Johnson arrived. He quickly let me go and gave a weak smile. Steven offered to buy me a drink. Instead, he bought me a drink and a shot.
Shot/Drink Count: 7
Started dancing, loving life. I was pulled from one guy to the next, my friend Sheldon almost killed me. He also bought me 2 shots.
Shot/Drink Count: 9
AJ and Jenna were out on the D floor and he tried to flip her. It didn't go over so well, choppy. Me and Steven showed them what was up.
It was getting close to midnight and I realized Johnson had yet to say happy birthday or even acknowledge that I existed. I ran into Brooke in the bathroom and told her about what a twat Johnson was being. She agreed on the twat bit. She said that he had told Gill "Looks like I'm having birthday sex tonight" -- a in "Looks like Jory's getting drunk and will probably take me home tonight because she can't control herself around me". I was pissed.
I re approached the kin circle and found Peter, Andrew, Greg and Johnson there. Apparently it was Andrews 21st birthday at midnight. Me and Peter had a celebratory Old Balls Club hug since everyone else in the circle was still 20. The moment the clock struck midnight, Johnson started freaking out: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW YOU'RE OLD BALLS NOW! YAYYY *hand flail* -- I was kind of like WTF. He still hasn't said happy birthday to me. The three 21 year olds hugged it out again and then the girls dragged me onto the dance floor.
In the middle of the song, a guy pulled me from our group and asked if I could dance, when I turned around, I saw that it was Johnson. He doesn't two-step for the record. We started dancing, I was fairly rude. "So you're not ignoring me now? Only on my birthday hey?" Ice cold. He apologized. I grilled him a few more times then accepted his apology. He asked if I wanted a birthday hookup. I just kind of .... WHAT?! NO! I said we were no longer hooking up! And he offered just a talk instead. I agreed to the talk. I was happy! We were talking again and it didn't feel like he hated my guts. We danced for another song, cracking jokes, whatever else. It was good. I told him maybe about the coming over thing.
And then I got a text from Cute September guy who waved to me in the library earlier. He was apologizing for not coming over and talking to me! haha I told him it was my birthday and that he should come to the bar, he said that he was DDing friends there anyway and told me to save him a dance.
I continued dancing with other guys and having a genuinely good time. Then my neighbor, who I met at the same time as September, showed up and he also wished me a happy birthday, as did his roomie. And then he bought me a shot. While we were in line, someone offered us a flaming sambucca shot. Grosses thing ever. We got our shots eventually.
Shot/Drink Count: 11
Then the DJ yelled THIS NEXT ONE IS GOING OUT TO JENNA AND JORY - TWINS! ON THEIR BIRTHDAY! and Somebody Like You by Keith Urban started playing. I was looking around for Jenna when September came up and asked me to dance. He's a very good dancer. Johnson texted me asking when I was leaving and what was going on. I didn't respond. You're not supposed to text and drive (haha geddit, I had my wheels on). He offered to buy me another shot, I complied. We did shots!
Shot Count: 12
Time Count: 3 hours.
We danced a few times and then I told him I should find Jenna. Since he is 6'7 (yea) he scoped the place out and we found her. In the same group as Johnson. She was passing out on Peters shoulder. So I told September that I should probably go home now. It was 2 am anyways and we all had school the next day. He graciously understood, but never left my side. D'aww. So I kept talking to him, introduced him to some of my friends. You know. Then he asked what I was doing on Saturday after my lab final. I completely missed my cue and said that I was thinking of going shopping. So he asked if I was busy Sunday. I said no, and he asked if I would hangout with him. YEA! He's incredibly cute. So we kind of made loose plans for a date.
We finally got Jenna moving towards the door, I said a quick goodbye to September and followed Peter (holding Jenna) to coat check. Johnson followed me. He asked me again what was going on and I shrugged and grabbed my coat. Then Jenna asked me to make up my mind, so I just looked at Johnson and said no. Sorry. No. I didn't wait around to check his response expression. I kinda got everyone together and then pushed them out the door, before I left, I gave Johnson a light punch and waved bye to him.
We went to McD's naturally. On the way I texted Johnson apologizing for kinda backing out of things, but the only thing I really wanted to discuss was the fact that he was ignoring me, and we got that out of the way when we were dancing. Big Mistake. He started talking about how he didn't want to anyways, and why would I expect that he would come over just to talk, we're not going to be friends. ECT ECT DRAMA ECT! Holy shit. On my birthday.
Yea so eventually he was just like "Please stop texting me." So I did. Whatever. I passed the fuck out. haha
Then today, I gathered a few scraggly happy belated birthdays and then at 2:00 he sent me a giant long facebook message. OH MY GOD I didn't even want to read it. Again he brought up how I was the bad guy and the reason we couldn't be friends was because I'm such a bitch bla bla bla. I didn't respond again.
Rant:
What is the point of asking me to hook up? You know I'm going to say no, just like I said last time. And then to say that it would be like a treat for my birthday? WHAT! All it did was start more drama, and I didn't want that. He could have just said happy birthday ON my birthday and I would have been happy as a peach. And to put me in that position where I have to either A.) Shut you down on the spot or B.) Take you home, make all your feelings for me come back, pretend like there's no strings attatched, and then shut you down even harder the next day. So either way I'm the bad guy, and all he got out of it was another excuse to bitch at me. Just reminded me how thankful I am not to be with him anymore.
Moral of the story, if a guy you're seeing can only talk about his ex girlfriends, and can only talk about them in negative ways, get the fuck outta there! he is more than likely a drama queen who is just waiting for your breakup so he can add your relationship to his book of sob stories to tell to the next girl. God.
Jenna woke me up at 7:16 am to remind me that we were 21. As if I had forgotten. I promised to cut her later for that. So early. I tried to go back to sleep. Magan called me at 8:20 and I groggily talked with her. As soon as I hung up, Mom called with Dad. (Shit gets more interesting as the day goes on, keep reading)
Then I finally got up around 8:30 and started getting ready for school. I got a text from Freddy saying that English class was cancelled that day, but I headed off to school anyways. When I got to school, I went to the Kin lounge where I was greeted by a few happy birthdays and big hugs from Freddy and Brooke. Freddy also made me a card which was hilarious. And then I set off to the library where I got a lot of studying done. A guy came and sat at the four person table I was hogging. I tried to slide over some of my papers so he would have room and it resulted in me pushing other papers onto the floor. That was a little embarassing. But we carried on. Jenna brought me an eggnog latte about an hour later!
Jenna: Happy birthday Jory!
Me: Happy birthday Jenna!
Guy: Whoah are you guys twins and it's your birthday?!
Us: Yes we are and yes it is!
Guy: No kidding! That was the cutest thing ever! Happy birthday!
*Me and Jenna instantly turn bright red and thank him*
Jenna left and an hour later the guy asked me what I was working on, I replied studying for biology. We got talking and he seemed really nice. And one thing lead to another and he got my number! Nothing is gonna happen there but it was just a really sweet thing to happen, so cute!
Then Joel (that was his name) left and I was alone once again. I continued studying when this really cute guy that I met in September walked into the library, saw me and waved and smiled. I happily smiled back. I put my head down again and the next time I look up, who should be there but Brad*. I gave a bright smile towards him (even though I kind of hate him right now) and he said happy birthday too as he passed. Then his friend said it to. I was happy enough with that. I studied for 30 more minutes then got the hell outta there. They were at a table right behind me and I wasn't having it.
I went into the computer lab in the Bio building where Solomon was working on his lab report. He wished me a happy birthday as well and I was about to sit down, but the latte suddenly kicked in and I couldn't hardly sit still. So I got outta there and went for a walk around campus. I ended up walking towards the PAC (Kinesiology building) and was about 20 feet from the door when Jenna, Johnson and Freddy emerged. Freddy yelled happy birthday again and Johnson pretended like he didn't see me. :/ anyways, I went up to that computer lab and crushed out my music assignment.
I had no classes/labs all day so I got a lot of studying done.
When I got home, both of our roommates were gone. Bryna was gone to Lethbridge with the hockey team and the other one had disappeared. All of her dishes from her supper were still out on the table, the dishwasher that she was supposed to empty was still full and the sidewalk hadn't been shoveled. So that was kind of disappointing to do when it was our birthday. But life goes on.
Jenna cooked meatballs and rice for supper for the two of us, then Alyssa came over with cupcakes and presents. We celebrated a little and got ready to go out. Brooke showed up after a while too and then we headed out.
We got to the bar before it was busy (9:30 ish) and the whole place was a meat market. We were the only girls. Brooke bought us birthday shots, then some old guy bought us some more. I did Alyssa's second shot because she was driving. Then I grabbed a beer.
Shot/Drink Count: 4
We were sitting around a table and a creepy uninteresting guy came and started layin down the lines thick. I told him my name was Angelica.
One by one the friends started arriving. Gill bought me a drink. A large group of Kin friends had just arrived and me and Jenna went to greet them. Johnson emerged from the group, ran up to Jenna (who was right beside me), gave her a big hug and wished her happy birthday again. I stood there patiently waiting, I worked up a smile to have ready for when he wished me a HBD, but it never came. In fact, he didn't even look my way, just put his hand on Jenna's lower back and guided her towards the group so I was left standing on the outskirts alone. I could have cried. Instead I walked awkwardly away to find another group to talk to since he had clearly marked his territory. I eventually edged over to the kin group, no sign of Johnson. Peter gave me a huge, back breaking hug.. just as Johnson arrived. He quickly let me go and gave a weak smile. Steven offered to buy me a drink. Instead, he bought me a drink and a shot.
Shot/Drink Count: 7
Started dancing, loving life. I was pulled from one guy to the next, my friend Sheldon almost killed me. He also bought me 2 shots.
Shot/Drink Count: 9
AJ and Jenna were out on the D floor and he tried to flip her. It didn't go over so well, choppy. Me and Steven showed them what was up.
It was getting close to midnight and I realized Johnson had yet to say happy birthday or even acknowledge that I existed. I ran into Brooke in the bathroom and told her about what a twat Johnson was being. She agreed on the twat bit. She said that he had told Gill "Looks like I'm having birthday sex tonight" -- a in "Looks like Jory's getting drunk and will probably take me home tonight because she can't control herself around me". I was pissed.
I re approached the kin circle and found Peter, Andrew, Greg and Johnson there. Apparently it was Andrews 21st birthday at midnight. Me and Peter had a celebratory Old Balls Club hug since everyone else in the circle was still 20. The moment the clock struck midnight, Johnson started freaking out: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW YOU'RE OLD BALLS NOW! YAYYY *hand flail* -- I was kind of like WTF. He still hasn't said happy birthday to me. The three 21 year olds hugged it out again and then the girls dragged me onto the dance floor.
In the middle of the song, a guy pulled me from our group and asked if I could dance, when I turned around, I saw that it was Johnson. He doesn't two-step for the record. We started dancing, I was fairly rude. "So you're not ignoring me now? Only on my birthday hey?" Ice cold. He apologized. I grilled him a few more times then accepted his apology. He asked if I wanted a birthday hookup. I just kind of .... WHAT?! NO! I said we were no longer hooking up! And he offered just a talk instead. I agreed to the talk. I was happy! We were talking again and it didn't feel like he hated my guts. We danced for another song, cracking jokes, whatever else. It was good. I told him maybe about the coming over thing.
And then I got a text from Cute September guy who waved to me in the library earlier. He was apologizing for not coming over and talking to me! haha I told him it was my birthday and that he should come to the bar, he said that he was DDing friends there anyway and told me to save him a dance.
I continued dancing with other guys and having a genuinely good time. Then my neighbor, who I met at the same time as September, showed up and he also wished me a happy birthday, as did his roomie. And then he bought me a shot. While we were in line, someone offered us a flaming sambucca shot. Grosses thing ever. We got our shots eventually.
Shot/Drink Count: 11
Then the DJ yelled THIS NEXT ONE IS GOING OUT TO JENNA AND JORY - TWINS! ON THEIR BIRTHDAY! and Somebody Like You by Keith Urban started playing. I was looking around for Jenna when September came up and asked me to dance. He's a very good dancer. Johnson texted me asking when I was leaving and what was going on. I didn't respond. You're not supposed to text and drive (haha geddit, I had my wheels on). He offered to buy me another shot, I complied. We did shots!
Shot Count: 12
Time Count: 3 hours.
We danced a few times and then I told him I should find Jenna. Since he is 6'7 (yea) he scoped the place out and we found her. In the same group as Johnson. She was passing out on Peters shoulder. So I told September that I should probably go home now. It was 2 am anyways and we all had school the next day. He graciously understood, but never left my side. D'aww. So I kept talking to him, introduced him to some of my friends. You know. Then he asked what I was doing on Saturday after my lab final. I completely missed my cue and said that I was thinking of going shopping. So he asked if I was busy Sunday. I said no, and he asked if I would hangout with him. YEA! He's incredibly cute. So we kind of made loose plans for a date.
We finally got Jenna moving towards the door, I said a quick goodbye to September and followed Peter (holding Jenna) to coat check. Johnson followed me. He asked me again what was going on and I shrugged and grabbed my coat. Then Jenna asked me to make up my mind, so I just looked at Johnson and said no. Sorry. No. I didn't wait around to check his response expression. I kinda got everyone together and then pushed them out the door, before I left, I gave Johnson a light punch and waved bye to him.
We went to McD's naturally. On the way I texted Johnson apologizing for kinda backing out of things, but the only thing I really wanted to discuss was the fact that he was ignoring me, and we got that out of the way when we were dancing. Big Mistake. He started talking about how he didn't want to anyways, and why would I expect that he would come over just to talk, we're not going to be friends. ECT ECT DRAMA ECT! Holy shit. On my birthday.
Yea so eventually he was just like "Please stop texting me." So I did. Whatever. I passed the fuck out. haha
Then today, I gathered a few scraggly happy belated birthdays and then at 2:00 he sent me a giant long facebook message. OH MY GOD I didn't even want to read it. Again he brought up how I was the bad guy and the reason we couldn't be friends was because I'm such a bitch bla bla bla. I didn't respond again.
Rant:
What is the point of asking me to hook up? You know I'm going to say no, just like I said last time. And then to say that it would be like a treat for my birthday? WHAT! All it did was start more drama, and I didn't want that. He could have just said happy birthday ON my birthday and I would have been happy as a peach. And to put me in that position where I have to either A.) Shut you down on the spot or B.) Take you home, make all your feelings for me come back, pretend like there's no strings attatched, and then shut you down even harder the next day. So either way I'm the bad guy, and all he got out of it was another excuse to bitch at me. Just reminded me how thankful I am not to be with him anymore.
Moral of the story, if a guy you're seeing can only talk about his ex girlfriends, and can only talk about them in negative ways, get the fuck outta there! he is more than likely a drama queen who is just waiting for your breakup so he can add your relationship to his book of sob stories to tell to the next girl. God.
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