Ok, for those of you who don't know, my Dad was the youngest of SEVEN and my Mom was the oldest of THREE. This makes my situation as a grandchild very different on each side. On Dad's side, I am the third youngest of 17 (my siblings are the only ones your than me). And my next closest aged cousin is 25. And they range in age from 25 - 48. When I was born, my grandparents got YOUNGER because they already had three great grand sons. On my Mom's side, I'm the third oldest of 6. The age range of my cousins is 17-23.
So needless to say, my grandparents on my Dad's side were already pretty old when I came along. My Grampa passed away when I was 13 at the age of 94 and my Granny when I was 14 at the age of 88(?). This past October would have been Grampa's 100th birthday, which really got me thinking about them. I loved my grandparents, they lived just across town from me in a tiny house with a huge yard. Grampa gardened right up until his last couple of years. My dad made an effort to have us go to their place at least once a week. I'm not sure why I resisted so much. Probably because I had very little in common with them at that point in my life, or I was confused about my religion which I was ashamed of because my Grampa was a pastor. I look back now and have so many questions I would ask them now, I never really got to know them as well as I should have. I hear my aunties and uncles talking about them and I just feel this need to talk to them, but I can't. Sometimes I try, but I'm still not sure if they can hear me. I was there the night that Grampa died. He had been in the hospital for some kind of surgery. He was almost fully recovered when he fell one day, he landed on his hip. I'm not exactly sure what else happened from there, but all of a sudden he went from being a strong, healthy man to this fragile body that was in critical condition. We were told he was in his last hours, so we raced to the hospital. I'll never forget walking in the room, seeing my huge family crowded in his small room, its the only time I've seen my big strong uncles cry. Then I caught a glance of him laying there, he was still and I thought we were too late. I watched everyone go to him one by one and say goodbye, each time, his eyes fluttering a big when they hugged them. I, of course, was balling from the moment I walked in the room. I stayed enveloped in several arms until it was my turn. I didn't really know what to say, so I just told him I loved him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. His eyes fluttered for me, but he also grabbed my arm when I gave him a kiss, which I think was a feeble attempt at hugging me back. He mumbled something too, which I was grateful for - he had heard me. After he passed away, every family member who was still in the area took turns staying with Granny for the first couple of months. Jenna and I even took our turn. These sleepovers were probably some of my best memories of her, she would get up before we woke up and make us breakfast, wish us luck in school, be fascinated by all that we had to say and was very grateful for our company. She passed that summer.
My Granparents on my Mom's side are still around, they live in the same city that Jenna and I go to school in actually! Over the last two years, we've developed a really great relationship with both of them, and I would actually consider my Gramma to be one of my best friends. I'm trying to do the exact opposite of what I did with my other grandparents this time, and willingly see them 1/week. When my schedual gets too hectic, I give them a quick phone call to let them know I'm still thinking of them. I ask them whatever question I have about their lives, or their parents or siblings lives. It' ridiculously interesting to learn about your family's history. I'm also working on hooking my Gramma up with facebook so we can better keep in touch. Anyway, I tell them I love them as much as I can because I now see the value and importance of it. If you don't say what you really want to say, you might not get another chance.
Going for supper at Gram's on Wednesday this week! :)
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Vivid Dreams
So I just had a really strange dream. It centered around me being a nude model and just kind of took off.
It starts with me and Jenna and Bryna all standing in our underwear in a really huge bathroom, trying to decide who gets which shelf in a cupboard there. There is well over 300 shelves, but we only get one shelf eachofor some reason. Anyway, I pick one and put all my undies in there, including the ones that I was wearing. Jenna and Bryna keep their clothes on. All of a sudden, this guy I met in res last year who was 29, and some big black guy that I don't know were in that bathroom. Jenna was really embarassed and threw her clothes on and slammed the cupboard shut. Anyway, then the guy from res came up to me and told me I was the cooler twin, and tried to kiss me. He was wearing red lipstick... :S Anyway I shoved him away but not before he put his red lipstick on my lips. I was horrified that me being naked was probably the cause of this. So I put a dress on.
Then all of a sudden I walked out and I was at this L.A. outdoor party. There was palm trees, and skyscrapers and glowing pools. I got really drunk and found a HUGE top hat. I wore it around, but there was alot of tables close together and I kept knocking things over. I don't remember drinking anything in the dream, but all of a sudden I was drunk. And I felt embarassed for myself for being so drunk and wrecking the tables. So I took off out of there, there was so much greenery all around the paths that connected the table part of the party, to the pool part, to the party part.. reminded me of a resort I was in in Panama. Anyway, I was feeling really drunk and I just wanted to find someone I knew, then I saw my friend Christian walking by, so I tried to run after him. I had just caught up with him when he told me I was too late, and disapeared.
So I felt rejected, just after feeling like the most desired nude model out there, and that was a huge drop I guess. I noticed these really skinny palm trees that grew as tall as the tallest sky scraper. Which happened to be right beside me. They were acutally tied to the sky scraper because they were so thin. If you touch the tips of your thumbs and pointer fingers together to make a circle, thats how thick they were all the way up. Anyway in my disapointment, I started climbing one of them. I climbed all the way to the top.. I didn't realize how high I had gotten until I was up there, and the top of the tower was only the size of a kitchen table. Then the tower started to wiggle, and the palm trees would just snap if I tried to grab them for support. I was losing balance fast. Just then, Bryna was walking by below, so I started yelling for her to get help. I just wanted to get down. She said she would call the fire department, but I said it was no use- I was going to fall before they even started their trucks! I got increasingly tipsy until, at the very last moment, I spotted a pool on the ground, I fell off the tower, aiming for the pool, and landed safely in the four feet of water. Haha. But my dress was soaked and fell off as soon as I got out. No one was around.
I went back to the party where I ran into some of my friends that I haven't seen since jr. high. They all turned into dream douchebags. I kept looking for Christian, but he was nowhere to be seen. Bryna had gone too. So I was walking along a path when a really rubby car pulled up, there was a girl in front of me who was heavier set (I think I saw her in real life on the bus this afternoon). A man got out of the car with a jug of liquid and a cloth. He dumped some on the cloth and asked the big girl not to smell it. He shoved it in her face, and she collapsed. Then he put her in the back of his car and started to drive away. I'm happy to report that Dream Jory did the right thing and chased him down, I opened up the back and he slammed on the breaks. I started pulling the lifeless girl out of the back, and he came to fight me off. I was really scared that he would touch me, he was really really greasy and for some reason that really scared me lol. A cop drove slowly by and I screamed at him for help, but when he got out, he just said that the guy was all good and to not bother. I was screaming at him that he chloroformed her, but cop wouldnt listen.
The dream ended with me, pulling an army-coloured rifle out of a near by bush and pointing it at the rapist. He must have known that I would never pull the trigger because the last thing I remember before waking up was his shot gun pointed at my head, as we stood in a stand still - both at gun point, fighting for a complete stranger who didn't even know what was happening.
SO yea. That was a dream that I had. I remember it really vividly, I still feel really shooked up from both the tower-fall and the drug-rape-attempt.
I'm trying to piece together why each of these things appeared in my dream, but its harder than it seems. Lol
It starts with me and Jenna and Bryna all standing in our underwear in a really huge bathroom, trying to decide who gets which shelf in a cupboard there. There is well over 300 shelves, but we only get one shelf eachofor some reason. Anyway, I pick one and put all my undies in there, including the ones that I was wearing. Jenna and Bryna keep their clothes on. All of a sudden, this guy I met in res last year who was 29, and some big black guy that I don't know were in that bathroom. Jenna was really embarassed and threw her clothes on and slammed the cupboard shut. Anyway, then the guy from res came up to me and told me I was the cooler twin, and tried to kiss me. He was wearing red lipstick... :S Anyway I shoved him away but not before he put his red lipstick on my lips. I was horrified that me being naked was probably the cause of this. So I put a dress on.
Then all of a sudden I walked out and I was at this L.A. outdoor party. There was palm trees, and skyscrapers and glowing pools. I got really drunk and found a HUGE top hat. I wore it around, but there was alot of tables close together and I kept knocking things over. I don't remember drinking anything in the dream, but all of a sudden I was drunk. And I felt embarassed for myself for being so drunk and wrecking the tables. So I took off out of there, there was so much greenery all around the paths that connected the table part of the party, to the pool part, to the party part.. reminded me of a resort I was in in Panama. Anyway, I was feeling really drunk and I just wanted to find someone I knew, then I saw my friend Christian walking by, so I tried to run after him. I had just caught up with him when he told me I was too late, and disapeared.
So I felt rejected, just after feeling like the most desired nude model out there, and that was a huge drop I guess. I noticed these really skinny palm trees that grew as tall as the tallest sky scraper. Which happened to be right beside me. They were acutally tied to the sky scraper because they were so thin. If you touch the tips of your thumbs and pointer fingers together to make a circle, thats how thick they were all the way up. Anyway in my disapointment, I started climbing one of them. I climbed all the way to the top.. I didn't realize how high I had gotten until I was up there, and the top of the tower was only the size of a kitchen table. Then the tower started to wiggle, and the palm trees would just snap if I tried to grab them for support. I was losing balance fast. Just then, Bryna was walking by below, so I started yelling for her to get help. I just wanted to get down. She said she would call the fire department, but I said it was no use- I was going to fall before they even started their trucks! I got increasingly tipsy until, at the very last moment, I spotted a pool on the ground, I fell off the tower, aiming for the pool, and landed safely in the four feet of water. Haha. But my dress was soaked and fell off as soon as I got out. No one was around.
I went back to the party where I ran into some of my friends that I haven't seen since jr. high. They all turned into dream douchebags. I kept looking for Christian, but he was nowhere to be seen. Bryna had gone too. So I was walking along a path when a really rubby car pulled up, there was a girl in front of me who was heavier set (I think I saw her in real life on the bus this afternoon). A man got out of the car with a jug of liquid and a cloth. He dumped some on the cloth and asked the big girl not to smell it. He shoved it in her face, and she collapsed. Then he put her in the back of his car and started to drive away. I'm happy to report that Dream Jory did the right thing and chased him down, I opened up the back and he slammed on the breaks. I started pulling the lifeless girl out of the back, and he came to fight me off. I was really scared that he would touch me, he was really really greasy and for some reason that really scared me lol. A cop drove slowly by and I screamed at him for help, but when he got out, he just said that the guy was all good and to not bother. I was screaming at him that he chloroformed her, but cop wouldnt listen.
The dream ended with me, pulling an army-coloured rifle out of a near by bush and pointing it at the rapist. He must have known that I would never pull the trigger because the last thing I remember before waking up was his shot gun pointed at my head, as we stood in a stand still - both at gun point, fighting for a complete stranger who didn't even know what was happening.
SO yea. That was a dream that I had. I remember it really vividly, I still feel really shooked up from both the tower-fall and the drug-rape-attempt.
I'm trying to piece together why each of these things appeared in my dream, but its harder than it seems. Lol
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