wut. da. fuk.

WTF

Today one of my best friends told me that one of the girls she graduated with lost both her parents. How you ask? They were foster parents and took in a number of kids from bad homes. The foster children murdered them.

WTF

Jenna asked me if I wanted to go for a drink with some of my dodgeball team today before our game. I said sure. Then *Deric got here to pick us up (Jennas current boo), they were quickly talking in Jennas room, right next to mine. I heard Jenna ask Deric if I could come with them for drinks. Deric said Johnson was coming. Jenna said Oh, do you think he would be mad if we brought her? Deric said yes. So they came into my room and told me they'd meet me at the game.

WTF

I cook on Mondays (aka today) for our household, and that includes kitchen clean up as well. This weekend was kind of a mess because of Halloween and what not and everyone cooks for themselves on Fridays and Weekends.. I came home from school and found two OVERFLOWING sinks of dirty dishes awaiting me. On top of what I had to use to cook. Luckily Jenna put a whole bunch of those dishes through the dishwasher just before, but still there was hardly any pots or pans left for me to use to cook. AND I got to deal with that heap of dishes.

WTF

Paid four dollars for a loaf of bread at the store today.

WTF

All my final exams are piled up at the very beginning of finals season. I think I have three in the first three days. And then one two days later. And then none until the very last day.

WTF

I've spent the last 3/4 nights staying up way past my bedtime watching Two of a Kind. Yes, that is the Mary-Kate and Ashley series from the arly 2000's. It's sad that I remember most of the episodes, or at least what happens in them.

WTF

I have a massive, unexplainable crush on my lab TA and I spend the majority of my bio lab on Thursday afternoons staring at him and fantasizing about what it would be like for him to kiss me or think I'm funny. He has the most perfect teeth, and his face goes red every time someone asks him a question. He has a shoulder length hair and a full beard. And he's not overly tall. And shit brown eyes. But there is something about him that I am simply drawn to and can't get enough of. I would probably never date him, but I would definitely kiss him without hesitation. I can't help myself.

WTF
\
Bradley's* (ex boyfriend) new girlfriend rides the same bus as me every MWF.

WTF

I dressed as a fat guy on halloween and was one of the only girls in the whole bar that wasn't showing upper thigh, who didn't do her hair and wasn't wearing a brick of makeup. And I still didn't pay for drinks all night and got two numbers.

FTW!!!

On the down side though, I can't remember what the boys behind these numbers look like or if they were even attractive. And I haven't texted either of them. I don't really want to. haha


Post Soundtrack: Drunk - Ed Sheeran, Locked Out Of Heaven - Bruno Mars

Pre Made Airline Meals

Hey. So last night was the first halloween celebration.
 - 'But Jory you can't celebrate halloween twice in one year!'
Hell yes I can. and I will. Fuck you.

Ok so anyways, last night a group of friends came over to my place for predrinks and then to a near by bar. I thought the predrinking was just going to be a small group of us, but everyone brought at least two more people that I didn't know with them. And they all knew eachother so I ended up feeling like an outsider in my own house. The worst part was that one of them, who they all idolized for some reason, was a total magniloquent. Not only was she clearly in love with herself, she pointed out everyone elses flaws. ie: when I had to chug my drink until someone else stopped counting. I ended up having to drink the whole thing, which was a brand new DOUBLE in a tall glass (vodka and coke ..mmm) Anyways, halfway through it she started pointing and laughing at how slowly I was chugging "It looks like more is coming out of her mouth than going in it! AHAHA" after telling everyone how great she was at chugging drinks. Like bitch this is my house, if you don't like how I drink carbonated beverages then get out. I ended up hiding out upstairs with some of the cooler, less rude people.

And then we left and went to the bar and I didn't have to see her ever again! :D

But yea, the bar was insanely fun. I was wearing a fat chef costume, which made maneuvering around the dance floor hard, but was worth it because I got to look like an idiot. And I got lot's of compliments. I did not pick up a boy - yay! The single life is treating me well, don't wanna fuck that up too soon haha.

I can't barely remember anything. Well I think I can remember everything, I just have to be reminded. Apparently my ex was there - didn't see him once! Or his girlfriend! Bonus! Got to speed walk home in the cold though. That turned out to be kind of fun actually. Had a good ol chat with my buddy ol pal *Kens (haha)

That's all I really wanted to say!


Post Soundtrack: Weighty Ghost - Wintersleep,  Air - Alone in Kyoto,

Sad Pickle is Sad

Oh god, this was just posted on my best friends wall by one of her "other bestfriends" : 
Jaaaaymooo love you hottiecake ♥

... What? 

Now this girl, one of my best friends, let's call her Pea for anonymity purposes, she's a great girl. She has got everything going for her; she's beautiful, hilarious, caring, a deeply loyal friend, and she's got a good head on her shoulders. What I don't understand is how someone who is so cool in real life can be so very uncool online. 

What I mean by this is that she embodies all of the annoying, self centered facebook habits daily. If she wasn't my best friend, I would simply stop following her instagram. It's all just pictures of her. And that's not the worst part. She hashtags things like #beautiful #makeup #eyelashes #blueeyes #skin #cleavage #strippers #chivette #single. All things that just make me shake my head. Why is online attention such a desired thing these days? I understand that it feels awesome to get a lot of likes on a status that you yourself thought was funny, it means that other people have the same sense of humor as you, and genuinely makes you like that person more. And a funny status is a funny status. And holy cow, if a girl uploads a pretty new profile picture, all the power to you girl! But every day? No. And it's all the same angle. All the same expression. All the same attention seeking that I can't stand. 

I'm not the only one who finds this kind of attention seeking to be a negative thing either. All of our mutual friends are completely undermining Pea because of her facebook ways. She comes off as a sl00t. And really, I don't judge people who enjoy sex. Really, who doesn't? But the thing is that SHE ISN'T A SLUT! She isn't annoying or self centered like her online life makes her seem. But the bad thing is that I have completely run out of ways to defend her from the vicious words from our mutual friends. They mock her and make fun of her constant photo uploads of things that aren't funny, and they say that everytime she uploads a picture, she get's less hot. How do I defend her when I agree? She will always be a beautiful girl inside and out to me, I just wish she didn't paint herself to be some crazy broad who's obsessed with the superficial. 

And she wonders why she can't hold a boyfriend. It's because he will never be able to give her more attention than she gets online. He will never compare. If he says she looks beautiful one night, how does that hold a candle to the 50 likes and 28 comments on her latest instagram photo that tell her she's stunning. It doesn't. And I feel sorry for the guy, he's found himself a wonderful girl but he will never measure up. 


Here's a little side note that has nothing to do with anything. I've been thinking about how when I read back over this when I'm 30, I'll have forgotten who I really was at 20 and what I liked. I also thought that I listen to an assortment of music with every post. SO I'm gonna start doing a post soundtrack for each blog entry. Because this is my blog and I can. WOOOO! 

Soundtrack for this post: Perth - Bon Iver, Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran, Fast Car - Tracy Chapman 

Pullin' a Michael

If you are someone that I know (parents, friends or otherwise) who was not given access to this blog by me and me only, please leave. Respect. However if you are a complete stranger, continue on, I'm just some random you will never know. haha

But seriously, Mom, Boyfriend, Ex, Enemy, Friend, Dad, everyone else that I know besides Michael, please respect my privacy and get out. And then forget that this page even exists. But not you Michael. Haha I need your advice, so stick around.

Burning Bridges

So my loyal fan base has been begging me to explain my previous post. So I guess I will.

 

This past weekend I planned a surprise birthday party for two of my friends. I can't take all the credit, because Johnson* was the other party planner. Those of you who have been keeping up with this blog know that me and Johnson used to date, and we broke up, and are now friends. But not really JUST friends... friends with benefits. 

The night before I left for home for the thanksgiving break, Johnson stayed over. I said I didn't like the direction that it was going - it was starting to become and expectation and he was starting to show little acts of affection towards me in public, including cuddling with me on the couch when we were watching a movie with a group of friends. I was not comfortable with this. We were supposed to be a no strings attached kind of deal, and not only was I uncomfortable with this PDA, some of our friends were a little weirded out by it too (Pretty much all of them knew that we were friends with benefits). Uhm so I confronted him, yea I mentioned that already. He was very understanding and said that he would comply with my requests. But then he said he had something he wanted to talk about too actually. And so I patiently waited for him to spit it out. And he got all nervous and what not and like clammed up. I was getting kind of annoyed because I had work to do the next day and it was already like 3 or 4 in the morning and I wanted to sleep. Anyways, I eventually told him that I wasn't going to talk to him until he said what he had to say. So he said it. And all of a sudden I wished I had never pushed it out of him. 

He said that he still felt a spark between us and made a convincing argument about why we should get back together as a couple. Said we have so much fun together and we are completely ourselves around each other, free of judgement. Which was all true. I told him I would think about it over the long weekend. I left the next afternoon for home. 

My family went fishing for thanksgiving. We talked about harvest, hunting, life in the small town I grew up in and how we can't wait to go camping this summer for my parents 25th anniversary. Somewhere over this weekend I realized how badly me and Johnson go together. Sure we have similar senses of humor, we're quirky and we are nonjudgemental people who generally get along with everyone, but we both come from completely different worlds; he's one of the most 'city' people I've ever met, and although I've evolved since living in the city for school, I'm still a small town farm girl. I'm satisfied by nature and all it's beauty, I like silence and open spaces and the slow, easy way of living in the country, where as he is just the opposite. He only visited my home town a few times, and was bored by it. I want someone who will take me fishing, knows how to shoot a gun, and someone who won't get bored if we ever just decide to take a walk through the countryside. That's the lifestyle I love, and the lifestyle he doesn't. I decided against getting back together. And I also decided to put an end to the 'benefits' of our friendship

When I got back to the city, I had made my decision. He facebooked me everyday to talk, I talked back. And now we're back at this surprise party I was talking about earlier. It was at his place. And after the party was over, I stayed behind to clean up.. I knew I had to talk to him about getting back together. 

It started the same way it has started every other time, I finished cleaning up and collapsed on the couch, not really sure how I was gonna break the news to him. He snuggled in beside me, which was familiar and comfortable. He started rubbing my back, which was also nice. And then he was talking in a really low voice in my ear. Then I got up and said we should move to his room before his brother got home and found us awkwardly on the couch. I also warned him that we weren't going to hook up in there, only talk. 

So we went in and I told him that I thought it was a bad idea to continue these hook ups now that there was feelings of wanting more involved. I also said that I wanted to maintain a friendship with him now that we were done the more than friends aspect of our little whatever it was. And I said I didn't think that was possible if I met someone else while we were still fooling around. Of course he had a massive rebuttal. 

It was already really late and I was sleepy. I was laying there with my eyes closed and he was mad. At first because of the fact that he wouldn't be getting any anymore. And he suggested that we hook up one last time.. "go out with a bang" as he put it, and yes he laughed at his own word choice lol. I said I didn't want to and this is where things got a little pushy. He started kissing my neck, I pushed him away and repeated that I didn't want to hook up. He went in for it again, and this time I said that means no kissing. He kept pushing and pushing. I said no probably 40 times. He wouldn't accept it. Saying that he knows what I want, and that I want these hook ups to continue. I was pretty annoyed to say the least. I think I know what I fucking want. Anyways, he said something after all his efforts that made me soften up a little. So I consented to one last fling before we were to part ways. So that's what happened. 

The next morning I woke up to find him looking at me, and he was like "So?" and I had to reexplain everything I had explained the night before. No getting back together, no more sleepovers, just friends. He again wouldn't take no for an answer. I got up out of bed and headed for the door, seeing that this wasn't going anywhere and I had already said all I had to say when he literally got up and blocked my way. This could be interpreted as scary or controlling, he's not that kind of guy so don't think of it that way. I saw it as an act of desperation, and it kind of tugged at my heart strings a little. I still walked out though, I told him it was his last chance to kiss me, and he said "No it's not.." so I stared him down and then just left. 

This might seem harsh, but really it was what I needed to do. This kid was clinging on so tight that there was no other way to pry him away from me. I feel terrible for being so blunt about everything, but sometimes that is just what you need to do. 

Holy shit this is getting long.

He messaged me later that day and said the he wanted to cut all ties from me. He said that he wasn't ready for the hook ups to stop and I owed him more of a warning before I went and put an end to it. Which I completely disagreed with. Anyways, ya basically I was torn up because he didn't want to be friends at all, which is something I kind of understand. I've always tried to maintain friendships with my exes. He said he still has feelings for me and that getting over them would be easier if I just stopped being a part of his life. And he also said that we were never friends before, which was the ultimate thing that tore me up. 

Anyways, that's pretty much it. I was feeling really low when I posted those lyrics. I was offended too because he said that he was willing to set all feelings aside if we could continue our late nights together, but wouldn't put them aside for friendship. I was downright pissed at that. 

On one hand, I am happy to give him all the time he needs to get over this and in time I know we will be friends at some point down the road (even if he won't admit it - he's always been dramatic about this kind of stuff) . On the other hand I think he's being a little bitch about the whole thing (this is the insensitive part of me that thinks this haha). On another hand I still do care about him and realize that the situation he is in sucks, but he could make it easier on himself if he wouldnt have set up all these boundaries for whatever relationship is left between us. I told him to be careful that he doesn't burn this bridge because he will undoubtedly come to regret it later. Anyways I gotta get back to studying. This post was a little excessive. haha 

Blue Paint On My Toes

"All you need is love" is a lie 'cause
We had enough but we still said goodbye
Now we're tired, battered fighters

And it stings when it's nobody's fault
'Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name
It's only the air you took and the breath you left

Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat
Wait on the porch 'til you come back home
Oh, right
I can't find a flight
So I'll check the weather wherever you are
'Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

[2x]
We share the sadness
Split screen sadness
(Two wrongs make it all alright tonight)

I called because I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don't hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day
Don't let me get away

Boys Are Like Pokemon.

Boys are like Pokemon. Part 1.

Case Point 1: The Steroid Infused Douchebag 

This is the kind of guy who goes to bars and spends half his massive, oil rig paycheck on jager bombs, and the other half on lap dances. And the only thing bigger than this guys inflatable muscles is his ego. Obviously this guy walks around like he's Machamp, but everyone knows that deep down inside his overpriced pants and sock stuffed tighty whiteys, he's just a wee little Machop. He will never live up to expectations, and all that steroid use will have made it impossible for his manhood to evolve. 

Case Point 2: The Hipster in Skinny Jeans

On the surface, these skinny white boys come across as harmless Bellsprouts. Although a lot of them would prefer to be Metapods, because no one else ever would.  Generally they're as useless as Metapods, so it's fitting in any case. Once you dig a little deeper and realize that they are actually Ditto's, trend followers who are simply changing appearance with whatever is in style at the time. 

Case in Point 3: The Beautiful Jock

This boy is walking down the street, he's got all the Jigglypuffs and Ponytas following him around and cooing at his every move. He's got the young Vulpix's attention as well as their cougar mothers, Ninetails. He is a solid 10 on the hottness scale, a real Charizard. He's a  And although his rippling six pack and gorgeous white teeth make him the apple of everyone's eye, when he opens a book, the Slowpoke within is revealed. His other beautiful meathead teammates look like Garydos's, Nidokings and Rhyhorns, but if you peel back all their muscle and athletics, they are nothing more than a bunch of Psyducks, Magikarps and Koffings. 

Case in Point 4: The Horn Dogs

Lickitung. That's all I really need to say. 

Case in Point 5: Pretty Boys

These boys keep their nails manicured, they keep their bushy eyebrows in check, they only wear Hollister and Ambercrombie. These boys come in two sizes, Parisect and Seaking. 

Case in Point 6: Nerds

There are two types of nerds that I will cover. The first is Math Nerds. These types of nerds are usually antisocial, pizza faced boys who wet the bed when they dream about talking to a girl. These boys are Porygons or Magnemites. Ever played Pokemon Snap? Those things only ever let you get close to them if you threw food at them! I feel like Math Nerds would be the same way.. only with WOW instead of food. The second kind of nerd is the Always Friendzoned Nerd. These nerds are without question great great grandsons of Mr. Mime. They are cute, friendly, helpful and always there when you need a shoulder to cry on, but somehow they are not boyfriend material. There is something about them that is just too nice about this guy for a girl to cling to in a romantic sort of way. 

Case in Point 7: The Freak Boys

These were the guys in high school that started skipping school to experiment with drugs, they always had weird hair cuts and sometimes wore chains or eye liner. These were the kinds of guys that grew up to have weird symbolic tattoos on their faces and possibly the ever gross nose plug piercing. These boys are Eggsecutor, Parisite and Persian. I threw Persian in there because there's always a semi good looking one in that group who has his way with the burnout freak girls, aka the Glooms, Jynx's, and Tangela's

Case in Point 8: The Fat Ones

Dumb, lazy and large. HOWLDIN ALL THUH POKUHMONZ.