There's aways those moments in life when you feel like time stands still and the world actually revolves around you for a select moment. When you can hear music when reality is quiet. Movie Moments if you will.
Walking down the street towards a picture perfec sunset or
That's what this post is going to be about incase you haven't caught on yet. My inspiration for this write up goes way back to a classmates birthday in elementary school. I'm from a really small town, but we have a bowling alley! And to use this bowling alley, you have to rent out thte whole thing. It's only open when people rent it for special occasions. And then its private and you are trusted to keep the lanes, balls and pins in mint condition for the next user. Anyway, at the end of Bryns Bowling themes birthday, his parents decided that they just didnt care. So they turned on the Glo-Bowling (tm) lights so everything was under a black light. They also let us run free over the lanes, which is strictly forbidden so I'm not really sure why they let that happen. But it was glowy, and balloons were falling from every angle around me as I lept from lane to lane. I think there was some kind of music as well, but that is the earliest memory that I have that can be percieved as a "Movie Moment". I remember everything in slow motion and it was the coolest feeling ever.
There's also those times when you're taking a walk around town with headphones in and listening to really angry/sad music really REALLY loud. Haha I ususally put up my hood and walk as if I have something mysterious running through my head. I don't even try to - it just happens. Like I'm in my own little emo music video. The same thing happens when I'm in a really good mood and listening to happy music.
Movie moments. Right. Back to that.
Actually I might as well be in a movie moment right now. First day of classes after Christmas break, I've been in class since 8:30 this morning, up since 7. Now I have my first break of the day, my only break of the day until it's done. But I'm sitting in the food court at the bottom of Place. I can't really hear anything that's going on outside of my earphones. But Serisously people are broken up just like on Mean Girls. Twelve feet ahead of me theres a table of Asian girls. Immidiatly to my right theres a group of three gabby white girls, one redhead, one blonde and one brunette, but all equally as dumb-sounding. Then you have your inevitable loners scattered everywhere, taking up space that could be used by triple the amount of people, I'm in this group. Even as they're coming down the stairs you can pick our stereotypes. Cool asians, nerdy asians, the odd redneck, lots of city people, lots of moccosins, but oddly enough, they're ALL wearing jeans. Everyone within my range of sight is wearing jeans actually. If not 100%, then at least 98%.
Anyway this post is kinda dragging on and this mocha is killing my bladder haha ttyl!!!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Look at me! It's Christmas morning and I'm writing this blog on my new christmas present. A wireless keyboard that I connected to my iPhone!! :D It's exaclty what I asked for and my favrtie present. So functional.
I must have been almost bad this year because although my stocking wasnt stuffed with coal, it was pretty close. Christmas chocolates from dollarama. It tastes like coco on cardboard. Haha But I also got macadamia nuts from when mom went to Hawaii. That's pretty sweet.
Christmas is going pretty normal. I'm the first kid out of bed, although this year it wasnt til 9, whereas usually I'm up around 7. I didn't jump on my siblings to wake them up, although I did share an interesting dream with Jenna to wake her up. I guess since no one reads this it's pretty safe to tell it here. Basically it was one of Jennas friends who I have never met, but she talks about him all the time. Anyway, he was basically telling me how great it is to have sex on a bed of pine needles under a pine tree in the wide open spaces.. Then he told me it's even better if you colour some condoms to look like alien eyes and put them ever top of your eyes. Then I modeled some underwear and the dream was over. HAHAHA I'm not sure what crossed my mind yesterday to put such a weird scenario together.
I'm somewhat irritable this Christmas. Jenna keeps dissing me for no reason, and usually I'm pretty good at retaliating and being a good sport, but she's bringing them out of no where and they're not even witty, their just blunt - "You're such a hughe idiot all the time" ect ect. It's really wearing on my patience. And Gramma keeps hitting me. Usually she does this and it's just a little on the shoulder, but these are HARD hits. I'm not sure why she's doing it.
I'm sitting at the dining room table right now. Grammas sweeping the floor which is unnessesary because it was swept last night before we all went to bed, but I'm not gonna stop her. Grampas fiddling with the DVD player in the living room, which is just as confusing to him as when DVD's came out. The volume is repeatedly CRANKED UO and turned down, giving me a little headache actually. He's coughing quietly.
We had a big breakfast/brunch thing, now we're all packing up our gifts. Dad and Arlee are getting the quads ready for me and Jenna to take them down to the mancave which is where we will be spending the rest of the day. Me and Jenna quad down, everyone truck it down, taking all the gifts that go along. (Mancave: noun. - cabin we've been building all summer down at the lake. Yep! The same lake that hosts the Bible camp we "met" at Michael!) We're bringing cards and games, as well as some christmas cake and hot chocolate - and hopefully baileys.
Last night I was up late reading Mockingjay. Its the third book in the Hunger Games series. serisoulyn one of the best series of books I've ever read. Comparable to Harry Potter. But I doubt anything I ever read will trump that one.
I woke up to 14 Merry Christmas texts, which was nice. I decided to put my phone away for the rest of the day, once I'm dont this of course.
I'm staring at the candles on the table that me and arlee made a mess of last night. We've always been pretty bad for just destroying canldes once their wax is liquid. These candles were brand new. Were.
Hmmm what else has happened this Christmas? Besides seeing friends and family again, nothing really. There is not a whole lot of snow on the ground. The least I have ever seen for this time of year I think. But there's still more here than in Stoon. Where there is literally nothing.
I never really noticed this before, but my grampa has quite a good sense of humour. He doesn't say much, but when he does, it's usually depressing, or a crack on Indians. But every now and then he will just say something beyond hilarious. He's actually coming with us to the mancave. This is huge! AND he wants to go! It's not like he's been forced into it like he usually it lol.
Anyway that's my christmas update for 2011. Who know's this is supposed to be the last Christmas ever! Since you know, the world is gonna end in 2012. Wellp, better start working on getting a boyfriend and settling down and having kids in the next few months.
I must have been almost bad this year because although my stocking wasnt stuffed with coal, it was pretty close. Christmas chocolates from dollarama. It tastes like coco on cardboard. Haha But I also got macadamia nuts from when mom went to Hawaii. That's pretty sweet.
Christmas is going pretty normal. I'm the first kid out of bed, although this year it wasnt til 9, whereas usually I'm up around 7. I didn't jump on my siblings to wake them up, although I did share an interesting dream with Jenna to wake her up. I guess since no one reads this it's pretty safe to tell it here. Basically it was one of Jennas friends who I have never met, but she talks about him all the time. Anyway, he was basically telling me how great it is to have sex on a bed of pine needles under a pine tree in the wide open spaces.. Then he told me it's even better if you colour some condoms to look like alien eyes and put them ever top of your eyes. Then I modeled some underwear and the dream was over. HAHAHA I'm not sure what crossed my mind yesterday to put such a weird scenario together.
I'm somewhat irritable this Christmas. Jenna keeps dissing me for no reason, and usually I'm pretty good at retaliating and being a good sport, but she's bringing them out of no where and they're not even witty, their just blunt - "You're such a hughe idiot all the time" ect ect. It's really wearing on my patience. And Gramma keeps hitting me. Usually she does this and it's just a little on the shoulder, but these are HARD hits. I'm not sure why she's doing it.
I'm sitting at the dining room table right now. Grammas sweeping the floor which is unnessesary because it was swept last night before we all went to bed, but I'm not gonna stop her. Grampas fiddling with the DVD player in the living room, which is just as confusing to him as when DVD's came out. The volume is repeatedly CRANKED UO and turned down, giving me a little headache actually. He's coughing quietly.
We had a big breakfast/brunch thing, now we're all packing up our gifts. Dad and Arlee are getting the quads ready for me and Jenna to take them down to the mancave which is where we will be spending the rest of the day. Me and Jenna quad down, everyone truck it down, taking all the gifts that go along. (Mancave: noun. - cabin we've been building all summer down at the lake. Yep! The same lake that hosts the Bible camp we "met" at Michael!) We're bringing cards and games, as well as some christmas cake and hot chocolate - and hopefully baileys.
Last night I was up late reading Mockingjay. Its the third book in the Hunger Games series. serisoulyn one of the best series of books I've ever read. Comparable to Harry Potter. But I doubt anything I ever read will trump that one.
I woke up to 14 Merry Christmas texts, which was nice. I decided to put my phone away for the rest of the day, once I'm dont this of course.
I'm staring at the candles on the table that me and arlee made a mess of last night. We've always been pretty bad for just destroying canldes once their wax is liquid. These candles were brand new. Were.
Hmmm what else has happened this Christmas? Besides seeing friends and family again, nothing really. There is not a whole lot of snow on the ground. The least I have ever seen for this time of year I think. But there's still more here than in Stoon. Where there is literally nothing.
I never really noticed this before, but my grampa has quite a good sense of humour. He doesn't say much, but when he does, it's usually depressing, or a crack on Indians. But every now and then he will just say something beyond hilarious. He's actually coming with us to the mancave. This is huge! AND he wants to go! It's not like he's been forced into it like he usually it lol.
Anyway that's my christmas update for 2011. Who know's this is supposed to be the last Christmas ever! Since you know, the world is gonna end in 2012. Wellp, better start working on getting a boyfriend and settling down and having kids in the next few months.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
$&*#*@%
That feeling you get during finals where you want to throw in the towel, you start considering other career directions for your life, you remind yourself why your still in this. The best thing to do would be to break down and let some of the stress out, or take a moment and just relax yourself completely, but you can't because that would waste precious study time.
.. 5 more days of hell.
.. 5 more days of hell.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
100th Blog Post!
GUESS WHAT!!!
This is my 100th blog post in Alphabet Soup!!! To celebrate, I'm going to do an alphabet style list of whats going on in my life right now! HOW CREATIVE IS THAT!
A- Arlis' Volleyball. Honestly, I always thought my parents were doing the same thing that they did to me and Jenna when they thought that we were as cute as can be when were in our severely awkward ugly phase when they were braggin about that boy's ability to play volleyball. But DAMN BRO! Where the hell did all this natural ability come from, and why did I only get a small portion of it?!
B- bombing a midterm. Yes that's right. For the first time, this year I bombed one of my midterms. Actually none of the marks were the ones that I wanted, but I actually failed one :( I'm planning to hit the books super hard tomorow and start studying for this class super early and make sure I have a firm grasp on the material so I can redeem myself!
C- Cat. Basically I just wish I had my old cat here to cuddle with right now, but she's dead. So that won't be happening lol
D- Delicious. Bryna made taco salad for supper tonight. And this bread stuff her mom bought at costco. Haha it was really good - especially since I only had a grill cheese at 10 am this morning!
E- Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. I watched this the other week.. I found it oddly uplifting and it made me feel less lonely.
F- FINALS. Seriously there is only one thing that is on my mind more than finals right now, and that has been described in the previous post. I'm kind of nervous but at the same time I just want them to come and be over with so I can feel the wonderful feeling of non-stress once again.
G- Geography 120. What a pain in the ASS! I should have done my geog lab today, but I layed around and attempted to go swimming instead.
H- High. I got high. Just kidding. But after telling me this amazing long story about his trip on mushrooms, my lab partner was amazed to find out I have not done mushrooms. Or any other drug.
J- Jenna. She will probably never read this so it's probably okay if I get a little mushy right now. Basically I've been having a rough go at life lately, and I don't wanna rain on her parade of just getting a new boyfriend and being all happy and what not, so I try not to dump my problems on her. But I'm soo happy she still takes the time to hear me out from time to time and offer advice. I like getting advice from her because it's basically like my sober-unlove-sick conscience talking to me, and it's the advice that I would give anyone else who was in my position. I should really hug her more, I would be such a mess right now if she wasn't around. Wow I actually teared up writing that. TIME TO MOVE ON!
K- Kiss. So.. in a 5 days, I'm turning 20! And basically the plan here is for Jordan to come up and we can go out somewhere and celebrate my first night of grown up ness. So the plan is to get a birthday kiss! It usually isn't very hard to find a boy at a bar that is willing to kiss you, but I wanna find one that I want to kiss too! I don't do these random kisses very often, but I figure, why the hell not this time? lol
L- I wanna say love, but I'm kind of in a "Fuck love" kind of mood lately. Haha so I will say Lint. ... some clothes have lint on them.
M- Moody! OMG I have never been so uncontrollably moody in my life than I have been this past week. It's like one minute I'm sitting content, then I feel incredibly sad at my circumstances, then I just start smiling because a simple, not overly exciting memory pops into my head, then I get mad because, I mean, why shouldn't I be!? And then I go back to sad, content, sad, mad, content, suuuper happy, .... ect. I hope it ends soon. Really I can usually control emotions pretty easily but not right now... hence the letter J.
N- Noob. Lately I have this strange craving to play modern warfare 3 like everybody else. I'm not a huge fan of Halo or COD or any of those games where you basically act as inhumane as possible towards other people, but I was watching some buddies play it this past weekend and I became addicted! Seems like a good way to relieve my mood problems haha
P- Paige. She needs a friend right now.
Q- awkward letter... hmm... I picked up some q-tips the other day?
R- Religion. It was mostly last year that I was questioning my religion and what I believe, this year (after being away from the black and white, right and wrong ways of my small town) I've become more open to the thought of other ideas and whatnot. And I've settled into something I quite like and that is that I consider myself less religious, and more spiritual. My college (bio) puts up some good arguments for atheism, but I just refuse to believe that all this, everyone, everything that is here has happened by chance. But I also find it kind of nuts that in order to have a happy afterlife, you have to follow a strict set of rules that are hardly applicable in today's modern life. So I'm somewhat agnostic, but I will NEVER be atheist, that just seems like a very depressing road to go down.
S- Snow! We had a really long summer this year and I am SO grateful for that! I would love to live somewhere where you wouldn't even have to own a winter jacket! But that would mean living in the states. And no offense, but no thank you. It got pretty cold today, hence why I skipped class and layed in bed all day :). Severe winds, snow falling, drifts forming. Actually, a teenage girl was khit by a car on central today. I guess it was pretty bad.
T-
U- Unfriend day. Today is National Unfriend Day on facebook.. so guess where I'm headed after I finish this blog! :)
V- Vsauce. Youtube channel that I am addicted to. Go check it out.
W- Workout. Yesterday I was at the gym for 3 HOURS! I worked our for an hour and forty five minutes, then took to the track to cool down for fifteen, then had a volleyball game for another hour. MY ABS ARE DYING RIGHT NOW. Jenna just brought me a banana chocolate chip muffin, and as I was laying on my back blogging with my laptop on my stomach, I had to sit up. This damn near killed me.
X- hmm ... There's an x in my postal code which I just found out today haha
Y- Yoga - today after supper, Jenna decided she was the pro-est yoga doer of the house, and tried to give me and Bryna a quick lesson in Corpse Pose. It was stupid and hilarious.
Z- I'm disapointed in myself for subconsciously reading that as "zee" in my head instead of "zed"
Anyway, that's my 100th post on Alphabet Soup.. I hope you got the pun I intended when I did the whole alphabet thing.. I'm gonna eat this muffin now.
ciao!
This is my 100th blog post in Alphabet Soup!!! To celebrate, I'm going to do an alphabet style list of whats going on in my life right now! HOW CREATIVE IS THAT!
A- Arlis' Volleyball. Honestly, I always thought my parents were doing the same thing that they did to me and Jenna when they thought that we were as cute as can be when were in our severely awkward ugly phase when they were braggin about that boy's ability to play volleyball. But DAMN BRO! Where the hell did all this natural ability come from, and why did I only get a small portion of it?!
B- bombing a midterm. Yes that's right. For the first time, this year I bombed one of my midterms. Actually none of the marks were the ones that I wanted, but I actually failed one :( I'm planning to hit the books super hard tomorow and start studying for this class super early and make sure I have a firm grasp on the material so I can redeem myself!
C- Cat. Basically I just wish I had my old cat here to cuddle with right now, but she's dead. So that won't be happening lol
D- Delicious. Bryna made taco salad for supper tonight. And this bread stuff her mom bought at costco. Haha it was really good - especially since I only had a grill cheese at 10 am this morning!
E- Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. I watched this the other week.. I found it oddly uplifting and it made me feel less lonely.
F- FINALS. Seriously there is only one thing that is on my mind more than finals right now, and that has been described in the previous post. I'm kind of nervous but at the same time I just want them to come and be over with so I can feel the wonderful feeling of non-stress once again.
G- Geography 120. What a pain in the ASS! I should have done my geog lab today, but I layed around and attempted to go swimming instead.
H- High. I got high. Just kidding. But after telling me this amazing long story about his trip on mushrooms, my lab partner was amazed to find out I have not done mushrooms. Or any other drug.
J- Jenna. She will probably never read this so it's probably okay if I get a little mushy right now. Basically I've been having a rough go at life lately, and I don't wanna rain on her parade of just getting a new boyfriend and being all happy and what not, so I try not to dump my problems on her. But I'm soo happy she still takes the time to hear me out from time to time and offer advice. I like getting advice from her because it's basically like my sober-unlove-sick conscience talking to me, and it's the advice that I would give anyone else who was in my position. I should really hug her more, I would be such a mess right now if she wasn't around. Wow I actually teared up writing that. TIME TO MOVE ON!
K- Kiss. So.. in a 5 days, I'm turning 20! And basically the plan here is for Jordan to come up and we can go out somewhere and celebrate my first night of grown up ness. So the plan is to get a birthday kiss! It usually isn't very hard to find a boy at a bar that is willing to kiss you, but I wanna find one that I want to kiss too! I don't do these random kisses very often, but I figure, why the hell not this time? lol
L- I wanna say love, but I'm kind of in a "Fuck love" kind of mood lately. Haha so I will say Lint. ... some clothes have lint on them.
M- Moody! OMG I have never been so uncontrollably moody in my life than I have been this past week. It's like one minute I'm sitting content, then I feel incredibly sad at my circumstances, then I just start smiling because a simple, not overly exciting memory pops into my head, then I get mad because, I mean, why shouldn't I be!? And then I go back to sad, content, sad, mad, content, suuuper happy, .... ect. I hope it ends soon. Really I can usually control emotions pretty easily but not right now... hence the letter J.
N- Noob. Lately I have this strange craving to play modern warfare 3 like everybody else. I'm not a huge fan of Halo or COD or any of those games where you basically act as inhumane as possible towards other people, but I was watching some buddies play it this past weekend and I became addicted! Seems like a good way to relieve my mood problems haha
P- Paige. She needs a friend right now.
Q- awkward letter... hmm... I picked up some q-tips the other day?
R- Religion. It was mostly last year that I was questioning my religion and what I believe, this year (after being away from the black and white, right and wrong ways of my small town) I've become more open to the thought of other ideas and whatnot. And I've settled into something I quite like and that is that I consider myself less religious, and more spiritual. My college (bio) puts up some good arguments for atheism, but I just refuse to believe that all this, everyone, everything that is here has happened by chance. But I also find it kind of nuts that in order to have a happy afterlife, you have to follow a strict set of rules that are hardly applicable in today's modern life. So I'm somewhat agnostic, but I will NEVER be atheist, that just seems like a very depressing road to go down.
S- Snow! We had a really long summer this year and I am SO grateful for that! I would love to live somewhere where you wouldn't even have to own a winter jacket! But that would mean living in the states. And no offense, but no thank you. It got pretty cold today, hence why I skipped class and layed in bed all day :). Severe winds, snow falling, drifts forming. Actually, a teenage girl was khit by a car on central today. I guess it was pretty bad.
T-
U- Unfriend day. Today is National Unfriend Day on facebook.. so guess where I'm headed after I finish this blog! :)
V- Vsauce. Youtube channel that I am addicted to. Go check it out.
W- Workout. Yesterday I was at the gym for 3 HOURS! I worked our for an hour and forty five minutes, then took to the track to cool down for fifteen, then had a volleyball game for another hour. MY ABS ARE DYING RIGHT NOW. Jenna just brought me a banana chocolate chip muffin, and as I was laying on my back blogging with my laptop on my stomach, I had to sit up. This damn near killed me.
X- hmm ... There's an x in my postal code which I just found out today haha
Y- Yoga - today after supper, Jenna decided she was the pro-est yoga doer of the house, and tried to give me and Bryna a quick lesson in Corpse Pose. It was stupid and hilarious.
Z- I'm disapointed in myself for subconsciously reading that as "zee" in my head instead of "zed"
Anyway, that's my 100th post on Alphabet Soup.. I hope you got the pun I intended when I did the whole alphabet thing.. I'm gonna eat this muffin now.
ciao!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Relationship Rant
I have an exam tommorow that I should be studying for. And a geography assignment due for Tuesday.. But my brain just shut down not too long ago.
Ok, so life lately has been extremely roller coaster-y. Mainly because there's a crap load of problems with my love life and everything's screwed up and I can't get my mind off it! I just feel heavy, you know? It's like feeling sick, without the illness, but I want to take some kind of drug or pill that will make me feel better, or try puking because that usually works if you ate something funky, but the only thing that really helps is occupying myself with other stuff. I want to go swimming or play piano or explore campus or hang out with a group of buddies, but at the same time I feel like I have no energy for that stuff. But more than that, I have no one to do it with. I don't know how I feel anymore, I think I'm all good, but then I see him with another girl, or I spend time with him and everything is right back where it was a month ago. I kinda wish he wouldn't have came back in the first place because I was getting back to happy and starting to know what direction my life was going in again, and now that's all up in the air once more. I don't know if I should start seeing other people, or if we're still together? I want to talk it out, but every time I try, something gets in the way. I want to make this decision for myself, but everyone keeps telling me what to do (which means I'm just gonna push against whatever they tell me.. because that's a habit that still hasn't really worn off since my rebellious teenage years haha). So I don't know who I'm making this decision for anymore, myself, my friends/fam or the little rebel inside me that has no idea what's going on but just wants to be independent. I'm totally frustrated right now and I can feel it taking away from my academic and social life. I can't have a conversation with my parents without them bringing him up and asking me what's going on.. and it just reminds me that I have no clue. I used to always look at other peoples situations and think they were so easy, but it's so much harder being on this side of the story. I wish I could read minds and figure out what the hell is going on. That's all I care about at this point, whatever the outcome is, at least I won't feel so confused by it all anymore.
Ok, so life lately has been extremely roller coaster-y. Mainly because there's a crap load of problems with my love life and everything's screwed up and I can't get my mind off it! I just feel heavy, you know? It's like feeling sick, without the illness, but I want to take some kind of drug or pill that will make me feel better, or try puking because that usually works if you ate something funky, but the only thing that really helps is occupying myself with other stuff. I want to go swimming or play piano or explore campus or hang out with a group of buddies, but at the same time I feel like I have no energy for that stuff. But more than that, I have no one to do it with. I don't know how I feel anymore, I think I'm all good, but then I see him with another girl, or I spend time with him and everything is right back where it was a month ago. I kinda wish he wouldn't have came back in the first place because I was getting back to happy and starting to know what direction my life was going in again, and now that's all up in the air once more. I don't know if I should start seeing other people, or if we're still together? I want to talk it out, but every time I try, something gets in the way. I want to make this decision for myself, but everyone keeps telling me what to do (which means I'm just gonna push against whatever they tell me.. because that's a habit that still hasn't really worn off since my rebellious teenage years haha). So I don't know who I'm making this decision for anymore, myself, my friends/fam or the little rebel inside me that has no idea what's going on but just wants to be independent. I'm totally frustrated right now and I can feel it taking away from my academic and social life. I can't have a conversation with my parents without them bringing him up and asking me what's going on.. and it just reminds me that I have no clue. I used to always look at other peoples situations and think they were so easy, but it's so much harder being on this side of the story. I wish I could read minds and figure out what the hell is going on. That's all I care about at this point, whatever the outcome is, at least I won't feel so confused by it all anymore.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Offcenter
FINALLY midterms are over! My midterm schedual was brutal this year. Two of my toughests classes were back to back on the same day. Followed by a four hour lab that we didn't even finish so I had homework. Ugh! At least its all in the past now. I keep thinking life is gonna slow down to the way it was before, but it probably won't. Sigh sigh sigh. I feel like putty right now. Like so tired for no particiular reason. Actually there is a reason, in celebration of finishing my exams, I decided to stay up waaaaay too late last night watching Dazed and Confused. It made me wish i was alive in the seventies. If I had a time machine that is the first place I would visit. And I would see my parents when they were my age - I woner if we woul be friends... ?? Probably. I mean they raised me. I'm sure I would be a suitable friend for them. I can't wait til I'm at the age that we can be like best friends the way my mom and my granmda are. I wonder if it will happen soon..
I'm outside again. Don;t know how many more outoor blogs I'm gonna be able to make this year.. It's starting to get pretty cold. BAH who am I kidding? Its almost November and I'm out here in a light bunnyhug!!! My fingers are a little chilly though haha
There are times when I think that I won't make it through university alive. Like all of last week. It was so painful to sit in the library for hours on end just reading and writring, reading and writing!! I don't think anyone probably did good on the bmsc 224 midterm though.. It was ridiculously detailed and worded very tricky. Maybe I will get lucky and scrape up a 54%. Geez. I'm gonna have to rock the final and the rest of the labs now. Can't afford anymore shitty marks.
What else can I tell you? This blog has been a pretty unconnected string of thoughts. OH its Halloween next week! But I'm celebrating this weekend at Monster Mash :D It should be fun if it's anything like LB5Q :) I don't even want to say what I'm being. It's pretty embarassing...
Have you ever been listening to music and just not even noticed it was playing? I usually listen to music on the bus or when I walk to school.. and sometimes when I get to school I cant even remember what songs I heard in that ten minute period! It;s crazy how terrible you can remember things when you're mind is occupied with other thoughts.
I guess there isn't much else I can talk about.. My battery is gonna die here pretty quickly. Friggen Jenna forgot her English textbook at home today so I had to lug it to school for her and then she didn't even need it!!
Uh living arrangements have been interesting... I don't really like one of myy roommates ... haha neither do my other roomies..
Anyway.. songs I'm listening to right now are:
Hey Hey Hey -Michael Franti
Paradise - Coldplay
How to Love - Lil Wayne (is that seriously his name? It's so awful.)
Disaster - Jojo
We found eachother in the dark - City and Colour
Every Little Thing -Young the Giant
and..
Love you Like a Love Song -Selena Gomez -IM SO ASHAMED!!! Plus I'm a huge hypocrit for beaking this song just about as much as I listen to it. At least I'm not listening to Mistltoe by JB on repeat like Jenna.... haha
Ugh I have a lab in over an hour... and ten minutes of battery left.. I wish I could just skip my lab.
Wow I'm sorry to whoever has made it thus far in this post. It's so boring
Tomorow I'm joining the ranks of women everywhere and going shoe shopping with one of my girlfriends. Yes. Me. Shoe shopping. What is this city doing to me?! Oh well.. I need to invest in some winter ish shoes anyway.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Jump Into My Mind! .. for a second
Been doing a lot of life thinking lately. I wonder if I'll ever stop this obsession I have with thinking impossible thoughts. Anyway, here's the latest:
Ever wonder if you've been alive before? As in the body you are in now is a reincarnation of a life you had before, but you don't remember any of it. Like your personality has been in someone from hundreds or thousands of years ago. What if EVERYONE is simply a duplicated personality of someone who lived in the past? What if everyone's soul is simply recycled and put into a new body? What if I lived and died multiple times already? I'm trying to wrap my head around it a bit, but it's kind of hard - I can't decide that, if this is actually what is happening, if it's a good thing or not. It seems like it should be comforting to know that I potentially have life ahead of me after death, but it also seems sad that I won't remember anything from this life. That I will just have to start new and make the same mistakes. Oh my god. What if I'm living a slightly modernized version of the life I've already lived before? Like someone in the past followed my same footsteps, was good at what I'm good at, fell in love with the same people I fell in love with? We're we part of each other's past lives? Was I born to the same parents back then? Did I know my siblings? I can't imagine life without the family I have right now, it's an impossible thought.
On a different token, have you ever looked at a stranger and tried to picture what they're going to look like in 30 years? 50 years? 70 years? I gave presentations to high school kids this past week about joining my university and I looked at all their faces and how incredibly young they looked. Then I started thinking if I've aged that much in 2 years, how much will these kids age in a few decades? I think I'm getting pretty good at it. I can look at someones face and visualize wrinkles or a droopy smile. I can see laugh lines appear with short, white hair framing their faces. I think I spend too much time looking at strangers. Haha. It's almost impossible to know what babies or small kids will look like when their way older, but once they hit their mid teens, I can see them as old people and it kind of makes my day sometimes.
Ever wonder if you've been alive before? As in the body you are in now is a reincarnation of a life you had before, but you don't remember any of it. Like your personality has been in someone from hundreds or thousands of years ago. What if EVERYONE is simply a duplicated personality of someone who lived in the past? What if everyone's soul is simply recycled and put into a new body? What if I lived and died multiple times already? I'm trying to wrap my head around it a bit, but it's kind of hard - I can't decide that, if this is actually what is happening, if it's a good thing or not. It seems like it should be comforting to know that I potentially have life ahead of me after death, but it also seems sad that I won't remember anything from this life. That I will just have to start new and make the same mistakes. Oh my god. What if I'm living a slightly modernized version of the life I've already lived before? Like someone in the past followed my same footsteps, was good at what I'm good at, fell in love with the same people I fell in love with? We're we part of each other's past lives? Was I born to the same parents back then? Did I know my siblings? I can't imagine life without the family I have right now, it's an impossible thought.
On a different token, have you ever looked at a stranger and tried to picture what they're going to look like in 30 years? 50 years? 70 years? I gave presentations to high school kids this past week about joining my university and I looked at all their faces and how incredibly young they looked. Then I started thinking if I've aged that much in 2 years, how much will these kids age in a few decades? I think I'm getting pretty good at it. I can look at someones face and visualize wrinkles or a droopy smile. I can see laugh lines appear with short, white hair framing their faces. I think I spend too much time looking at strangers. Haha. It's almost impossible to know what babies or small kids will look like when their way older, but once they hit their mid teens, I can see them as old people and it kind of makes my day sometimes.
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