Say Goodbye to Love and Hold Your Head Up High

JORY! WTF HAPPENED TO YOU!?

Asked the millions of people who tune into this blog daily and have been eagerly awaiting a new post for over a month now.

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^That's the symbol for sarcasm that I invented. I frequently use it in texts when I say something offensive. That way, no one can misread or get mad. Because that's a huge problem in life these days. I feel like texting has made me socially awkward. Well not so much socially, but phonely (word?). Let me explain.

Since moving home for the summer, I have noticed that my mother is on the phone with her friends and relatives a LOT. She probably spends a solid 1-2 hours on that thing every day! And when something really interesting happens, she sometimes even commits 3-4 hours. THAT'S SO MUCH TIME! She even fearlessly leaves messages on peoples voice mails. Even the awkward ones where she has to ask her boss for her paycheck, or has to ask if she can borrow someones precious crystal salad bowl. And I sit there and just admire her for it. I guess you could call me a coward or a wimp or whatever, but I absolutely loathe talking on the phone. Not sure what it is about it, but I just tense up a lot before I have to make a phone call. All these ridiculous thoughts pass through my head like "What if I'm calling them when their in the middle of a funeral or something?" or "They won't want to talk to me..." or "What if I say something really awkward and they don't know how to respond, what if it's the other way around and its ME that doesn't know how to respond?" or my absolute favorite "I'm for sure going to just run out of things to say as soon as I start talking"

)( about that being my favorite.

But honestly, I would much rather just send a quick text and gather the information I need that way. Or have a full conversation over facebook. Is there something wrong with me?

I used to be super smooth with all my social encounters and lately I just feel choppy and awkward. Maybe that's because I'm rusty. I honestly think I can blame this one on what I started this whole blog off with: Moving home for the summer.

Don't get me wrong, I love home. But it takes a toll on my abilities as a social butterfly. Mostly because I am two slightly different people. I am University Jory in the city and Highschool Jory in my small town. The experiences & people in both of my homes are completely different, making it hard to adjust and fall into who I am as a person. I grow so much when I'm away, but then I come back and feel like I have to revert to who I was when I graduated highschool again. And not that I'm not happy with either of those characters, it's just hard to find the happy middle grounds. And it makes me awkward when I'm trying to place myself in a group of people and can't decide which version of Jory would fit best. And then I lose sight of Uni Jory all together and can't remember what it was like to be her.

As always, the cure for social weirdness like this is to force yourself into social situations. And that is when I feel most like myself and I stop caring which Jory I am, and just start realizing that no one can really tell whats going on inside my head with myself. And that's when I'm happy. I used to love deep thinking like this, but now I fear its eating me aliiiiive! Haha anyways.
ttfn.