Single

So yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend. I guess I should start calling him my ex boyfriend now..

It was a big process, he had a lot of questions. I wasn't really prepared to do it yesterday, I wasn't going to do it at all, but the more we talked about it, the more I realized it was probably for the best. This was my fourth attempt at a long distance relationship over the summer. I feel so bad, we both put so much effort into it. I think he put in more than I did, just such an awesome guy. I've never been able to just be myself around someone so quickly and so easily. But the distance was killer. We started our relationship on my very last day at university in the city, and then I moved 2.5 hours away. So we went from being completely single, to spending every moment for 72 hours together every weekend. It was a little much at times, and by the end of the weekends, I was feeling a little smothered. But because of the fact that we only had time for eachother every once and a while, I overlooked that feeling for a long time. It started wearing on us. Anyways, long story short, we spent 7 hours locked in my room yesterday, trying to work it out. Ended up breaking up. I'm sad and what not, but I'm also almost relieved. Somehow we managed to end on a really good note, and committed to still being civil to each other until we can be friends again. We're even gonna try going to the concert I got him tickets for for his bday, its three months away, so we should be cool by then.

I can't help but feel mad at myself for letting another terrific guy with tons of potential go. I have to use two hands to count how many times that's happened. I know I'm picky, everything has to be right for the first 6 months or I just give up. That is why I'm trying this new "no strings attatched" plan for the rest of summer. Since the probability of me finding someone who will live relatively close to Saskatoon when I get back there in the fall is teeny tiny when I'm spending my entire summer in the middle of nowhere, I'm just gonna live the single life and not try to drag someone else into it. That way, I won't be breaking anymore hearts or putting myself through all this guilt and sadness. I figure if I publicly proclaim this to the world, I might actually stick to it. And by publicly, I mean on my secret blog that no one really knows about haha.

Blah. I hate breakups.